Bubblegum Crisis: A Farewell to Arms part 3
by Purple Knight Saber
Summary: The year 2056 is here, but is not off to a good start as one of Yumeko's friends is hurt in an accident. Back in Tokyo, the Knight Sabers learn what Madigan's scheme is, but not before Priss gets into some hot water of her own.
1. Spectator sport

I forget why this part took so long to write; perhaps it was because I transferred to CU to do the last two years of my degree and got buried in schoolwork. Yeah, that's probably it. I suppose that takes precendence over a story you're writing for fun, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to still write! Written between May 2003 and December 2004.

-----

The coming of a new year…I suppose it's something that I'm supposed to be happy about. After all, everybody gets to start anew, forget about the shit that happened in the year that's about to bite the dust, right? Hmph…unlike most people, I did not have that luxury. So as I sat there leaning back on the roof of Irodia's house, arms folded behind my head, listening to the countdown blaring from the TV inside the house, I looked up at the stars and reminisced about the past year.

2055…surely it would go down as the worst year of my life. After all, the Boomer summit had happened, Genom found out my identity as a Knight Saber, and I had to relearn how to walk and run and other things that people easily take for granted. Boh ambushed me and stabbed me four times, and Michiko was killed, and I was sent off to Sacramento to get away from the eye of Genom, even if they might eventually find out where I was. And then I got nearly raped by that bastard Rob while I'd mistakenly gotten myself drunk.

Counting my blessings? Hardly.

Though…I had done this same thing during last New Year's Eve. I'd gone up to the roof of Mom's and my apartment building, and wondered whether 2054 had been the best year of my life or the worst. I'd gotten third place at the World Championships, sure, but I'd also nearly been killed by that female Boomer, and then I found out that my mom and my 'aunts' were the Knight Sabers! And what surprised me even more, Sylia had invited me to join them! Yep, it was a strange feeling, wondering whether that year had been good or bad, and yet when I look back on it now, I almost laugh, remembering how naively I had looked forward to the year 2055, wondering what it might have in store for me. If I'd known then what I knew now, you couldn't have dragged me into that year with a gun to my head.

And now it was about to become the year 2056.

Damn.

Considering what had happened in '55, I certainly was not looking forward to what this new year might hold. The only thing I was looking forward to was the Olympic trials and, if I got past those, the Olympics themselves. But first, I knew I would have to get through Genom first in order to get to my precious Olympic games. My head hurt at the thought. Yeah, sure, '56, sounded like a buttload of fun. Would've been fun, maybe, if I was a masochist, which I was not. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay here forever; I'd have to face Genom eventually.

But I suppose '55 wasn't all bad. I DID learn how to walk again, and I was able to face down Quincy himself in his own home. And plus, I had met Xania and her buddies. But then again, when I thought about what had to happen in order for those good things to happen, I shuddered and shook my head. I didn't know if it was worth it. I would've given it all back in return for Micchan and a normal life, and for those lousy Boomers never to have resurfaced in the first place.

But I knew that wouldn't happen. It was too late for that now. Maybe I should have enjoyed that normal life while I had the chance…

I slapped myself upside the head at the thought. That was that damn hindsight speaking again. How was I to know that any of that was going to happen? I had no way of knowing; in the life I had known up until that point, I went to school, hung out with Michiko, and toured with Mom around the world whenever she released a new album. And now, all of that was gone. Now all I had left was a fake life in Sacramento, and Genom after my ass, willing to take down my friends in order to get to me. I felt like I was a black hole, just dragging everything down with me. I still felt like if something happened to Mom or the others, it'd be my fault.

"Three, two, one…Happy New Year!"

Cheering emanated through the open window below once the countdown ended, and I could hear that _Aud Lyn Syne_ song or whatever it was called start to play. I just closed my eyes and mumbled to myself.

"Happy New Year…yeah, right."

-----

I sighed and let my thoughts wander as I got into the elevator, heading up to visit Nene at her apartment. She'd returned from the U.S. a couple days ago, but I hadn't had a chance to talk to her, and she hadn't come running to me right away about what was going on with Yume, which I thought was weird. And so, I decided to come to her instead. I would have called her, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of my head that Genom might've had my phone tapped, just waiting for me to blurt out where Yume was. I figured it best to play it safe rather than potentially have her screwed over by her own mother.

Once the elevator stopped on the seventh floor, I got out and headed down the hallway to apartment 717. I knocked on the door, and after about three minutes, Nene finally came to the door and answered.

"Oh! Priss!" Nene exclaimed, running a hand through her hair, which she obviously hadn't washed since she'd gotten back. I noticed circles under her eyes, like she hadn't slept all that well, and her clothes were wrinkled as well, like she'd used them as pajamas by mistake. "I'm sorry about not coming to see you. Sylia wanted me to try to dig a little deeper into Genom's databases to find out anything that we can use against Madigan." She peeked her head out and looked around to make sure no one else was in the hallway, then ushered me inside.

"What kind of information?" I inquired, sitting down on the couch and kicking back.

"Do you remember hearing about that defense minister back in '33? Callahan? He suddenly disappeared into thin air one day, about the same time that you went to Genom Tower to fight Largo. Sylia think it's possible that Madigan had something to do with his disappearing act."

"Probably thought he was a security risk. He WAS the defense minister, after all."

"That's the most likely possibility, but problem is, I need to find information to prove what happened to him, and so far, I haven't seen any reports about his disappearance."

"You'd think she'd keep a hit list of all the people she's offed over the years," I quipped.

"She doesn't seem like an egotistical person, so I doubt she'd keep an actual list. Besides, that'd be too easy." She sighed and sat down next to me. "I was hoping that she would've written it down somewhere that she's 'taken care of him' or something along those lines, but I haven't found anything."

"I bet if there were any documents about his fate, Madigan probably made sure to get rid of them. But I'm sure you can find something, Little Miss Cyberpunk," I teased. Nene looked sour.

"I wish you and Linna would stop calling me that. It got old a long time ago."

"Nicknames stick. Get used to it."

"Right…"

"I guess that's why you look like shit, then? 'Cause you've been trying to find that info?"

"Yeah." She let out a yawn.

"So what's been happening with Yume? How's she been?" I asked.

Nene suddenly got silent and fidgeted slightly, running her hand through her hair again. She looked down and said, "It's like you thought, Priss. Just like you thought. She's building a shell around herself. Whenever I tried to get close to her, emotionally anyway, she'd just snap at me and tell me to go home, that I didn't belong there. She didn't want to talk about anything. She looked like she was content to wallow in her misery by herself rather than get it out of her system."

Learning that tidbit about Yume made sense; after all, misery was like quicksand. The more you fought to get out if it, the quicker you sink into it. Why fight? You'd keep your head above the sand longer if you didn't fight. I sighed and said, "I think the problem is that she's had so much thrown at her, practically all at once, and she doesn't know how to deal with it."

"Either that, or she's just trying to deal with it all herself."

"She's an Asagiri, she's gonna have SOME sort of independent streak in her," I said dryly, cupping my chin in my hand. "I was her age once."

"So was I."

"Yeah, but you're not anything like her or me. I think that she thinks that if she asks for help, it's gonna make her look weak."

Nene thought for a moment. "It wasn't till Christmas Eve that she started to open up a little bit, but even before that, she was questioning why she should talk about it at all, because she doesn't know anyone that well over there. She doesn't know Irodia and her family like she knows us. She can trust us, and I think that she's not ready to tell her life story in detail to anyone else just yet. Maybe…maybe she just needs some time." She let out a sigh.

"Anything else?"

"Well…I managed to loosen her up a little by having a snowball fight with her," she said, laughing. "I hadn't heard her laugh in ages. I figured making her do that would help take some of the pressure off."

"Nene, no matter what she might've said to you…I think that she appreciated having you there, seeing a familiar face for once," I said gently. She nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I'm sure she did, and I promised her that we'd be able to bring her home soon, but she told me not to make a promise I knew I couldn't keep. But…I do intend to keep it. That's why I've been working day and night to try to find something on Madigan. The Genom servers are much tougher to hack into than they used to be, though. I guess Madigan really upgraded the software there. I can get around it, it's just going to take a little more time."

"Lack of sleep probably doesn't help. Just take a shower and take a nap. That might be the thing you need," I pointed out.

"I've never known you as one to give advice, Priss," Nene chuckled. "Usually you're on the receiving end of it."

"I can dish out almost as good as I can take," I quipped. "I was gonna go out for a beer tonight. If you're up to it, you could come along too, provided that you don't give everyone another free peep show."

"I DON'T strip!" she protested. "It must be some sort of sick joke you and Linna made up to torture me!"

I snickered. "Lighten up, I'm teasing. So?"

"So…I don't think I will. Maybe I'll just take a long snooze like you said." She yawned loudly. "I guess I could use it. That and a long, hot bubble bath."

"Don't fall asleep in the tub," I warned jokingly as I stood up and headed to the door. "I'm gonna head out now. If you find anything on Madigan, just holler."

"I will, as soon as I'm clean and rested and thinking clearly," she said, yawning again. "But sometimes I feel like a dog chasing its own tail."

"Something's gotta come up," I grumbled under my breath as I opened the door. "She can't be everywhere at once. There must be something that she forgot to cover up."

"I'll find it…sooner or later," she said tiredly. "But I guess complaining about it isn't gonna make it appear."

"Right. See ya later."

"Bye, Priss."

After heading back down the elevator to the main floor, I went out to the parking lot and boarded my motorcycle, putting on my helmet before starting the bike up. I felt a large shadow cover me all of a sudden, and when I looked up, the sun had disappeared behind the monolith that was Genom Tower. I frowned at the sight of it; I was going to make sure that its looming presence over Tokyo wouldn't last much longer.

_Your days are numbered,_ I thought as I drove in the opposite direction of the Tower, towards my apartment building. _You better get yourself ready for that gunfight when it comes, 'cause it's not gonna be quick and clean. I'll make sure it's messy, just for you._

_-----_

Winter in California wasn't really that snowy at all, compared to Minnesota, at least. Sometimes a few flurries would fly, but they hardly stayed on the ground for long before they melted away. No, instead of snowdrifts, there was rain, and lots of it. And not the warm kind, either. It was freezing rain, the kind that let you know it was definitely winter and it wasn't just a summer drizzle, as nice as that sounded.

I could feel my leg protest as I made my way around the block for my morning jog, but I didn't let it slow me down. It had slowed me down for four months, I refused to let it bug me any more…although it was very hard to ignore whenever it rained or snowed. Whenever it was too wet, my leg would ache and act like it wanted to take the day off; hell, it had ached almost non-stop during the week or so I was in Minnesota with Irodia and Tyler's family. I hadn't said anything to them or Nene though; I didn't want them to worry. Besides, I'd dealt with much worse pain.

And so began my first day back to school to begin spring semester, by taking a jog in the freezing rain, going back to the house to take a hot shower, then going back out into the freezing rain to pick Xania up. For once, I actually had to wear my leg sleeve underneath my jeans, since I knew my leg wouldn't be able to tolerate the weather very much before I'd end up literally dragging it along the floor. So once I got onto my motorcycle and drove towards Xania's house, I made sure to go slow, not just because of the weather, but to spare my leg.

"Rosho, you don't look like you feel good, girl," Xania said as she climbed on behind me. "Lookin' a little wobbly on the bike."

"My leg hurts, that's all," I said as I resumed the drive. "Just being careful."

"Did you twist it or somethin'?"

"You know I got shot. Ever since then, it hurts whenever it's really humid outside."

"You musta been miserable up in Minnesota then," she mused.

"I was alright, as long as I wasn't up and about all the time. A heating pad usually helps a bit."

"Whatever works, I guess."

"So what were you up to during winter break?" I asked as I turned the corner towards the school.

"Went up to dull ol' Montana again to visit Mom's family for Christmas. Boring as all hell, just like the Thanksgiving break was. They don't even get cable in that house! No satellite dish, and no video games! And fifty miles from the nearest mall. Fifty!"

"Well, at least that way they can guarantee that going Christmas shopping there will be an all-day excursion," I wisecracked. "Got complaints about that?"

"Actually, yeah, I do. The old lady that Mom calls her mom kept draggin' me to all these goddamn candle shops! I thought I was gonna suffocate in there! She wouldn't even let me go to the DVD store! She kept saying something about TV rotting away your brain."

I pulled into the school parking lot, and once I had parked, I turned off the bike, climbed off, and pulled off my helmet, immediately getting drenched by the rain as a result. "So I'm guessing no chances to hit on any guys?"

"You'd be right," she groaned, flicking her tail in a futile attempt to dry it off. "Let's get inside, it's cold."

We both got inside as quick as we could, me limping behind, and once we were inside, we headed to the bathroom, where Xania used the hand dryer machine to dry her hair. She wrung out her hair in the sink, then stuck her head underneath the dryer and rumpled it up into her usual hairstyle. While I wrung out my own hair in the sink, she took off her shades and wiped them dry with whatever part of her shirt was still dry, then threw them back on. "Ahh, that's more like it," she breathed, grinning as she looked at herself in the mirror and rumpled her hair some more.

"I think you look like a drowned rat either way," I joked, ducking a playful punch from her.

"Fuck you!" she laughed. "You don't look any better than I do."

"Ah, touché."

Xania lunged at me to try to get me in a headlock, but I saw it coming and jumped back in time to avoid her. She chased me out of the bathroom, both of us trying not to slip on the wet floor in the process, but before I got very far, I heard a voice call out to me.

"Ah. There's my girl."

I stopped in my tracks and directed my gaze to the other end of the cafeteria, where the voice had come from, and narrowed my eyes disapprovingly when I saw Rob. He noticed the look I was giving him, but didn't seem to care, for he stood up and headed my way anyway.

"Ah hell," Xania groaned. "What does he want now?"

"I don't know," I said in a bland voice, folding my arms over my chest.

"Rocío, been a while, girl. Where'd you head off to during winter break, huh?" Rob asked, grinning as he stood there in front of me. How dare he pretend that he hadn't done anything to me!

"None of your business. I don't think you'd care unless I'd spent it in your room." He just grinned again.

"C'mon, are you still hung up over that? You were all for it, you know. I had to STOP you from pulling off your underwear and ambushing me. You didn't fight me off, you didn't say no, you just laid there!"

"She was drunk," Xania hissed, her tail stiffening up. "You knew that, but you molested her anyway, you piss-ant excuse for a man. Just get outta here."

"No. I'm not leaving. And I don't care if your ex-lover shoves his gun in my face again either," Rob spat. "I'm not the bad guy here. Wasn't my fault. I didn't drag her upstairs, she GLADLY went with me."

I just stood there and listened to him, my body stiff, tempted to pull out my pocketknife and cut him up like the piece of meat he was, but I resisted the urge. Listening to him talk like that, it was like he was describing another person, but I knew he wasn't. It was me he was talking about, me that he was practically bragging to everyone about, bragging that he'd nearly raped me.

"I bet you're just so proud of yourself too," I said coldly. "You almost took advantage of a drunk teenager. Yeah, that REALLY makes you a man. I think a real man would have some blood flowing above the belt as well as below, but then again, I think I have yet to meet a real man."

"Men have needs, and so do women. What's your point?" That grin, I just wanted to wipe it off of Rob's face so badly.

"My point is this." I grabbed him by the hair and yanked him closer to me so that my face was in his face. "Just because a girl doesn't say no doesn't mean that her answer is yes. Just because you were the one hosting the party doesn't mean that you can have any girl you want, drunk or not. And when a girl does flip out and beat the shit out of you…don't try to cover your ass and say she was just rough in bed. That just makes you look like even more of a wuss." I rammed my knee into his stomach, and as he lurched forward, holding his stomach in pain, I smirked and added, "See? Now I got some blood flowing to somewhere besides your dick. Doesn't that feel better?"

I turned to go fetch my backpack, but felt Rob's hand clamp down on my shoulder, stopping me. "You ain't getting away that easily," he wheezed, finally recovering his breath. "You're gonna…be sorry you ever did that."

"Did what? Flip out on you in bed, or mess with your hairdo?" Xania quipped, biting her cheek.

"Shut up, monkey girl. This ain't about you."

"Oh, you're just jealous." She flicked her tail, smirking.

"Why would I be jealous? At least I'm not part-Boomer like you!"

I could feel something in me snap at the sound of those words. I spun around and punched Rob across the face, sending him crashing to the floor; if there was ever a comment that would set me off, that would be it. "Don't you EVER say that about Xania. Especially around me," I growled.

He pushed himself up till he was on his hands and knees, then lunged at me. I raised up my leg and rammed my knee into his forehead, which sent him crashing to the floor again. Before he could recover, I walked over to him and slammed my foot down onto his chest, knocking the wind out of him. I ground the heel of my shoe into his chest, making sure he could feel me on top of him. He winced and squirmed, then grabbed my leg and tried to throw me off, but I merely hopped backwards on one leg, then jump-kicked him with the other when he got up.

"Had enough yet?" I demanded. "Don't EVER ask me for 'favors' again, and don't EVER call any of my friends Boomers!"

"Rocío," I heard Juliana say from behind me, "what're you doing?"

"Teaching this SOB a lesson. Just stay back."

"I don't think so," Sara said meekly. "That's the assistant principal heading this way." She pointed over Rob's shoulder to the teacher's lounge, where a tall man had just exited from and was now heading towards us.

"What on earth is going on here?" he demanded, looking at Rob and me. "This is not the appropriate time or place to be doing this."

"Couldn't wait," I replied dryly.

"No kidding," Rob agreed, grumbling as he wiped the blood from his nose.

"I think you two need to come with me." He looked at Xania and said, "Were you involved in this?"

"No," Xania said. "I'm just a spectator."

The assistant principal motioned for me and Rob to follow him. "Come on, you two. We're going to have a chat."

As I followed him, almost gleefully, I turned to Xania and said, "If I don't show up for the first class, assume I got suspended."

"Ok," she replied, smirking.

-----

My prediction of getting suspended turned out to be true, which didn't surprise me in the least; I couldn't even recall how many times I'd been suspended for fighting throughout my school career. This suspension was for the rest of the week, and once Xania found out, she promised that she would try to get the assignments I'd be missing for me, although the only reason I asked such a thing to begin with was because Irodia had made me do so. She had been called to the school for our little 'discussion,' since she was my temporary guardian, and certainly did not look thrilled about the fight I'd gotten into.

"I told you, you can't always settle things with your fists," she sighed after we left the assistant principal's office.

"I tried talking with him, but he wouldn't listen," I said sarcastically.

"If you can't reason with someone, just walk away. Ever tried that?"

"May as well hang a sign on me that says 'I'm a big fat wuss' if I do that. Some things, you can't walk away from. I'm not gonna just walk away after hearing him pretty much refer to Xania as a Boomer. She's not."

"He was just trying to get under your skin. Couldn't you see that? You need to learn to ignore things that people say when they're trying to get you riled up. When you do get mad, it's just giving them what they want."

"Irodia…" I sighed. "You were teased a lot in school, weren't you…"

"I was. So you see, I do speak from experience."

"Well, you don't speak from my kind of experience. I've had things that get under my skin that hurt or piss me off a lot more than just words."

That shut her up. She knew perfectly what I was referring to.

Since my suspension was effective immediately, Irodia had me go home with her, but she was willing to let me come back when school was over and give Xania a ride home, although Sara could've done the same thing. "Why not just have Sara give her a ride? That's what she'd been doing before you came here," she pointed out.

"She prefers riding with me," I said.

"But it's raining cats and dogs. Sara's car has a roof she can put up. Your motorcycle doesn't."

"Well, she wasn't complaining this morning about it."

"All right, but don't go pulling a disappearing act. I want you back at the house immediately after you take Xania home. Just because you're suspended from school for the week doesn't mean you can go out and do whatever you want."

"Yes, Mother," I replied bitterly.

-----

After Irodia and I headed back to her house, she immediately set about putting me to work, scrubbing the bathroom floors, doing the laundry, all sorts of domestic chores that she knew I hated. And what did she do while I was cleaning? She sat there on the couch and watched her talk shows! She said getting suspended for beating up Rob was one thing, but that I should also be punished for being suspended as well.

"Why did you beat up that boy, anyway?" she inquired as I scrubbed the inside of the bathroom toilet.

"He was being a typical boy, meaning he was thinking with other parts besides his brain," I said dryly, trying to get rid of stains on the toilet that I would've just as soon not even asked what they were. "Besides Greg, I don't think I've seen a single guy my age who can think with his brain. Does every guy have sex on his mind 24-7 or what?"

Irodia sat down on her knees next to me. "Well…when I first met Tyler, he was a bit oversexed too," she admitted.

"Really?"

"Yes. After we'd been going out for a while, he was in a bit of a hurry to take our relationship to the next level. But me being the religious type, I wanted to wait until we were married, and after shooting him down about thirty times, he finally agreed to it as well. He's never regretted it."

"Some guys don't seem to get that message though. I guess Tyler and Greg are exceptions to the rule," I sighed. "Seems like the only guys I attract are the sleazy ones."

"That's because you're an attractive girl who's not shy about showing off her body. And I can tell you that even if you start dressing like a slob to hide your figure, they'll just be even more curious to see what kind of body is underneath them."

"Dressing like a slob was never an option to me. I'm gonna dress however I want to. If boys can't control themselves when they see me, that's their problem, not mine."

"As long as nobody mistakes you for a prostitute, I think you'll be fine," Irodia joked. I managed to laugh with her.

She stood up and stretched. "Well, I'll leave you to your work now. Don't forget to scrub the walls of the shower stall and wash the mirror."

"I know, I know."

"And make sure to throw the hand towels and washcloths in the laundry and change the trash, too!"

"Anything else, madam?" I asked in a fake accent.

"Yes, actually. Don't forget to wash the sink, wash the bathtub, and make sure to go through Mikhaila's hair products to make sure nothing's expired or anything. She tends to forget little things like that."

"Ok, ok…"

I was in that bathroom for about an hour and a half, and most of that time was spent going through Mikhaila's bottles of hair spray and make-up and such to see if any of it was still good anymore. I filled up almost half of a trash bag with those things alone, and the cupboard underneath the sink looked bare compared to how it looked when I'd first started out.

When it was almost time to pick up Xania from school, Irodia let me take a shower using her bathroom – she didn't want me to mess up the main bathroom after I'd just cleaned it, and plus I felt filthy after being on my hands and knees for all that time – and after I put on some fresh clothes, I got on my motorcycle and headed back to the school.

"Whatever happened to Rob? Did he get suspended too?" I asked Xania as she approached me when I pulled into the parking lot.

"No. You were the one throwing all the punches," she quipped.

"Damn, go figure."

"Did you tell Irodia about what he did to ya at that party?"

"Why would I? She doesn't need to know, and I don't wanna bring it up, so we're both better off this way."

"Hey, Rocío!" Sara called to me from her convertible, getting the roof set up as it started to rain again. "Wanna come to the mall with us?"

"I doubt they have anything new since you last went there, oh, yesterday," I joked. "And sorry, I can't. I have a tai chi lesson today." Irodia had told me to come back to the house right after dropping Xania off, but I'd forgotten that I had a lesson today.

"C'mon, just one quick look-see," Juliana said, practically begging. "It won't take long at all. What time do you have your lesson at?"

"Four o'clock."

"Well, it's three now. We have a little time. Won't hurt."

"Where's Mikhaila? She'd want to come along too."

"She's in the library studying," Sara replied, climbing into her car. "First day back, and already she got assigned a major paper."

"No rest for the weary, I guess," Xania mumbled.

"Weary? Today's our first day back," Juliana joked.

"Why don't you two ride in my car with Juliana and me?" Sara asked. "You'll be able to keep dry in here."

"No thanks, we'll be fine," I said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, we'll manage. We'll be right behind ya."

"Ok!"

Juliana climbed into the car with Sara, and after a moment, the car started up, and it disappeared out of the parking lot. Xania and I climbed on my motorcycle and followed behind, the rain suddenly starting to come down harder than before.

"Damn, it's monsoon season!" Xania exclaimed when it rained even harder, wind blowing the rain sideways, making small trees nearby threaten to snap in two.

_Unless you've actually met Monsoon, this doesn't compare_, I joked in my head, biting my lip to keep from saying it aloud. "It should let up soon…I hope."

"What if we get stranded 'cause the street floods? I bet Irodia'll be all over ya for not being home when she told you to be," she joked. "Flood or not, I bet she'll be pissed either way."

"I'm sure she'd understand," I groaned when we pulled to a stop at a red light, right behind Sara's convertible. "Can't control the weather, after all."

"Well, my mom seems to think we can."

I cursed under my breath and wiped away the raindrops that had gathered on my helmet visor with the sleeve of my jacket. It was really raining hard; I couldn't recall anything quite this bad in Tokyo. In a matter of seconds, I had to wipe them away again, and finally I just gave up and lifted it up, then immediately put it back down again. The drops had started to fall in my eyes, which wasn't any better. My hands, clad in fingerless gloves, were numb from the cold, and on top of that, my leg was protesting loudly about being out in this weather.

"Maybe we should've gotten a ride with Sara, after all," Xania mumbled as the light turned green and we headed down the street again.

"We're almost there. Hopefully it'll lighten up while we're in the mall."

It was a matter of minutes before Xania and I both regretted what we had just said. We stopped at another red light, starting to shiver from the freezing rain, and I just kept thinking about how nice it would be to sit by a lit fire, curled up in a blanket…generally just thinking warm thoughts. I told Xania to do the same thing, and sure enough, she wasn't shivering as much either.

"W-wait a sec…" Xania started to say when Sara started driving her car again. "The light's still red! What's she doin'?"

I was about to open my mouth to reply, but as Sara drove her car through – apparently thinking the light had turned green, when instead it was still red – a semi approached on our left. I could feel myself stop breathing when I saw that huge truck slam into the tiny convertible trying to cross in front of it, the sound of crushing metal ringing in our ears just as much as the pounding thunder. When the semi finished passing by, it almost immediately screeched to a halt, and Xania and I turned to look at where Sara's convertible was.

What was once Sara's convertible now looked more like a balled-up piece of aluminum foil, crumpled up near a lamppost.

"S…SARA!" I screamed, jumping off my motorcycle. I threw my helmet to the ground and ran towards the wreckage. By now, all traffic had stopped, so I didn't have to worry about being added to the casualty toll, but at the moment, that was the least of my worries. I reached the wrecked car, trying to peek in what looked like one of the windows for any sign of life…but it was so dark.

"Sara! Juliana! Answer me!" I begged. After hearing nothing, I sighed and hugged myself, shivering. Then I looked and recognized a rear-view mirror, and by it was what looked like a car door. I took a breath, then balled my hand up into a fist and punched through whatever glass was left there, peeking inside.

"Sara!" I exclaimed when I saw the brunette girl. "Hey! Open your eyes!"

Sara winced at the sound of my voice, then opened her eyes slowly and turned her head to look at me. It was then I noticed a large gash on her forehead, blood streaking the entire right side of her face. "R…Rocío…?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's me. Don't move, ok?"

"Rosho….is she alright?" I heard Xania ask nervously behind me.

I turned and snapped my head in her direction. "Get to the other side and help Juliana! Do it!"

She nodded slowly and walked over to the other side of the car, and I had to restrain myself to keep from shoving her in that direction. Why wasn't she running to help her? Why was she just walking?

"I can't move…" Sara moaned. "My legs, I can't move 'em…"

"Yo. Juls!" Xania yelled, slapping Juliana lightly on the cheek. "Wake up!"

I jerked on the car door, hoping that it would just come off so I could get better access to Sara, but it seemed like it was stuck. I yelled for another motorist to come help me, and after a few mighty tugs, we got the door off. After setting it aside, I looked back at Sara, and almost fell to my knees in shock when I saw her legs.

No wonder she couldn't move them. The front of the car had totally crushed them. All I could see was a mass of crushed metal and a whole lot of crimson-colored fluid soaking them and Sara's clothes as well.

"Shit…ok…" I finally said to myself, pulling off my jacket. I wrung it out as best I could and covered Sara up in it. "Here. You need to stay warm."

"What's wrong?" Sara asked me, looking scared. "What did you see? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I said quickly. "You're just gonna need some help getting out of this car, that's all."

"Juls, c'mon!" Xania snapped. "Wake up!"

"Don't yeeell," Juliana finally moaned, putting a hand to her head. "Hurts my head…"

"Thank God you're alive. Don't scare me like that!"

I growled to myself and turned to look at the crowd of stunned bypassers. "Stop standing around!" I snapped. "DO something!"

"Like what?" one asked.

I stormed over to the guy who said that and grabbed him by his coat. "What do you think! Call a fucking ambulance!" I dropped him, wiped my soaked bangs from my eyes, and ran back over to Sara. "Hey, stay with me, ok? There's an ambulance coming."

"I never…heard you talk like that before," Sara said weakly, forcing a small smile.

"What would you expect? Everyone's standing around like they've never seen a car accident before," I said softly, bundling the jacket tighter around her.

"I wasn't looking…" she moaned, starting to close her eyes. "It's raining too hard…"

"Keep 'em open, Sara. Stay awake, ok?" I slapped her lightly on the cheek. "Stay awake!"

Sara didn't respond.

"Sara? Sara!" I shook her again, but all I got was a moan. "Shit! Sara, c'mon!" I looked down at her legs and saw they were bleeding worse than ever. I looked around nervously, looking for something I could use to stem the flow, then asked one of the people standing by for his coat. Once he took it off, I pressed it against Sara's legs, hoping to stem the blood flow.

"Damn, this is just too much," I cursed; the coat was already almost completely soaked through. "Xania! Gimme your jacket! I need to stop this bleeding!"

Xania tossed it over the car on top of my head, and I took away the blood-soaked coat and replaced it with the jacket, putting the coat on top of it. "C'mon, please…please stop. Sara is NOT going to die today," I swore under my breath.

Finally, in the background I could hear the wail of an ambulance's siren. I pressed the jacket against Sara's leg wounds even more firmly, gritting my teeth with the effort. I wasn't going to let one of my friends bleed to death if I could help it! I looked at Sara's face; she was still unconscious, and her face was starting to turn white. I shook my head and kept pressing.

"Ok, get back, we can handle it," a paramedic said, pushing me aside as he and another paramedic started attending to Sara.

"She needs outta there," I said. "She's bleeding to death."

"We'll handle it!" he said. "Just stand back so we can do our job!"

I sighed and stood back, and a moment later Xania joined me. We both stood there and watched as the paramedics managed to pull Juliana out, and as they whisked her into an ambulance, I could see other paramedics working to free Sara. I closed my eyes and prayed that she would make it. I'd never forgive myself if she didn't…

"You son of a bitch! Didn't you see that car?" Xania snapped as she ran towards the guy who had been driving the semi; he was standing by his truck, just amazed at the scene. "You might've killed 'em!"

"I did, but I couldn't stop in time!" he protested. "The driver should've seen it was a red light!"

"Well, she didn't! But you coulda stopped! Why didn't you fucking STOP?" Xania lunged at him, but several people from the group of passer-bys quickly broke them up.

"Xania, that's not gonna do anything now," I said, my voice barely audible as the paramedics finally freed Sara from the wreckage and quickly got her to an ambulance. "Let's just hope that Juliana and Sara pull through."

"The son of a bitch," she seethed, pacing back and forth, biting her lip. "The son of a bitch, he saw 'em and didn't stop. He shoulda stopped, Rosho, he shoulda. But he didn't. He DIDN'T STOP! And now they might be DEAD!" Xania suddenly stopped and held her stomach, groaning, then bent over and threw up right there in the grass near the crosswalk. She dropped to her knees and ran a hand through her drenched hair.

I sat down next to her and hugged her. "Xania…it'll be ok."

"It BETTER be ok!" she snapped. "Or I'm gonna have that SOB's head on a stick! I'll kill him with my bare hands if I have to!"

I stood up, dragging her to her feet. "Or we can follow those ambulances to the hospital and check up on our friends. I don't know about you, but I WANT to know if they're gonna be ok or not."

"Rosho, we…we shoulda yelled at 'er. Told 'er that it wasn't green yet."

"She probably wouldn't have heard anyway. She probably had her windows rolled up to keep the rain out," I pointed out. "C'mon, let's…let's go."

"No," she said, shaking her head, her whole body trembling both from cold and from anger. "We…we should tell Mikhaila, and probably Sara and Juls' moms too, and Irodia… A-and you should change outta those clothes too."

"What about 'em?"

"You have blood all over 'em."

I looked down at my shirt and jeans. Sure enough, I had large blotches of red on them, smeared by the pouring rain. "Yeah, I guess I should…"

"Excuse me," a police officer said, interrupting us, "but could I get a witness statement from you two?"

"Why?" Xania inquired.

"You witnessed the accident. And several witnesses said you two administered first aid until the paramedics came. So I need a statement from both of you."

"Let's make it quick," I said, grumbling. "I wanna know how they're doing."

We both gave our accounts of the accident, and once that was done, the officer let us leave, but as I pulled on my helmet and got on my bike, I could see news reporters heading our way. I revved up the bike and sped past them, heading down the street towards Irodia's house.

"Aw, didn't ya wanna talk with the reporters?" Xania asked dryly. "You coulda been on TV."

"The last thing I wanna do is be on TV, Xania. Trust me."

-----

"This ain't happening. This ain't happening."

"Mikhaila, come on, let's go. I'm sure they want to see you."

"I can't!"

Irodia, Xania, and me were back at the school, and we had just told Mikhaila about the accident Juliana and Sara had. Irodia was trying to coax her to come to the hospital with us, but Mikhaila didn't want to believe the accident had really happened.

"Are…are they ok?" Mikhaila demanded, turning from scared to angry. "Rocío, are they ok?" She grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me. "Tell me!"

"I don't know!" I snapped. "Last I saw them, they were in an ambulance. Sara looked worse off than Juliana though."

"How do we even know which hospital they're at?"

"I called Sara's mom," Xania mumbled. "She said she'd heard they were being taken to Cyprus Medical Center."

"Mikhaila, if you don't want to go, you don't have to," Irodia said gently. "Do you want to?"

"Yes…and no. I do wanna know what happened, but…not if they're dead!" Mikhaila cried.

"We're not going to know anything until we get there, ok?"

She nodded, wiping tears from her eyes. "Ok…ok…"

After Mikhaila got her books into her backpack, we all headed out to the parking lot and piled into Irodia's car, then headed off to the hospital. Xania leaned back in her seat and looked out the window, frowning.

"Go figure, NOW it stops raining," she pointed out dryly.

"Yeah, no kidding," I agreed in much the same glum tone.

"How bad was it?" Mikhaila asked, peering back at us from her seat up front.

"You don't want to know."

"Of course I do! Just spit it out!"

"Fine." I sighed. "Sara ran a red light, thinking it had turned green, and ended up going right into the middle of traffic. A semi came and slammed into the car on Sara's side. Sara's legs got crushed, and Juliana…I don't know about her."

"She didn't look too bad. Looked like mostly cuts and bruises to me," Xania said. "Good thing that thing had air bags."

"Sara passed out from blood loss, and I tried to stop the bleeding, but…" I stopped and took a breath. "But…the paramedics took over, and I don't know what's going on now."

"She better be ok. Juliana better be ok too," Mikhaila swore. "They're my friends, they can't die!"

Irodia just stayed silent, not knowing quite what to say now.

It wasn't too much longer before we arrived at Cyprus Medical Center. Irodia parked in the parking lot – as soon as she could find a freed-up space, anyway – and we all piled out and rushed into the emergency room, where we were quickly ushered to the waiting room. Xania found a seat in the corner, while Mikhaila went to go look for a vending machine and Irodia sat down with a magazine that looked at least a year old. I sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall, praying that Sara and Juliana would be ok.

_I wonder if this is what it was like after the summit attack, Mom and the others sitting here wondering if I would be ok_, I thought. _Must've been scary, not knowing how I was doing._ I sighed and closed my eyes. I'd never done this before, sit here and worry over someone else; usually, I was the one being worried over. How strange to be on the opposite end of it. I didn't know which end I would have rather been on.

"Rocío," Irodia said, shaking my shoulder. "Sara's mom is here."

"Huh?" I snapped my head up at her. "Really?"

"Yes, Xania is talking with her now."

I stood up and walked over to Xania and the blond-haired woman she was talking to. "What's going on?" I asked.

"You're Rocío, I'm guessing," the woman said, looking at me as she wiped a tear from her eye. "I'm Lucy Owens, Sara's mom."

"How is she?"

"Sara is…alive, thanks to you." I could see her start to lose control of her emotions. "But…"

"But what?"

"One of the surgeons just spoke to me a couple minutes ago, and…and…they had to amputate."

"What?" Mikhaila yelled. "Amputate what?"

"Her legs?" I asked. Mrs. Owens nodded, putting a hand to her mouth.

"The damage was too bad… They said the legs were beyond salvaging."

"What about the rest of her?"

"They said the legs were the worst. Besides that, she has some bruised ribs, a laceration on her forehead, a concussion, and a broken arm."

"She's…she's got no legs," Mikhaila mumbled to herself. "No legs…no legs! She's gonna be a cripple now!"

I instantly slapped her across the face, making everyone present gasp. "Don't say that," I snapped as she put a hand to her cheek, stunned. "Don't EVER say that word. You don't know anything about being crippled! Don't get me started."

"Rocío, that's enough," Irodia said sternly, hugging Mikhaila. "We're all upset, but don't take it out on someone who wasn't even there."

I snorted and turned to face Sara's mom. "Where is Sara?"

"She's still in surgery…" she replied. "Rocío, you…you did everything you could for her, I'm sure."

"That's not it." I paced a couple times before stopping and facing her again. "I know what it's like. I know all too well what it's like…not to be able to walk. I've been through that hell. I don't want anyone I know to go through it too!"

"They did say…that she could get cybernetic prosthetics once she's more recovered," she added softly.

"But those aren't her real legs. I don't even know if THIS is my real leg anymore." I hit my left leg with my fist. "With all the metal they put in it, it may as WELL be cybernetic." I fidgeted; I could feel myself get antsy. "Are you sure that's what Sara would want? Would she rather have cybernetic legs, or no legs? Once she's awake, try asking her. Not everybody feels the same way about it."

Xania snickered. "I remember when I first got my tail put on. Sara and Juls, they thought it was just the coolest thing in the world. Sara immediately started wonderin' if she could get a cat tail, and Juliana was wondering if I would have any ill effects should it short-circuit." She started to laugh, holding her stomach, her tail twitching.

"And I thought you were nuts for doing it," Mikhaila mumbled, still nursing her cheek. "If something's not broke, don't fix it."

"I wasn't tryin' to fix anything when I got it on. I just thought it'd be cool to stand out," Xania said proudly. "And I stand out. You can't deny that."

"No argument there," I agreed. "But whether you stand out in a good way or bad way is another question."

"Aw, c'mon, guys get turned on by it. They wonder if I can do any cool tricks with it."

"We won't go there," Irodia interrupted, looking embarrassed. "Anyway, Lucy, have you seen Juliana's mother around?"

"Yes," Mrs. Owens said. "She's upstairs with Juliana."

"What did she say?"

"Well, Juliana wasn't too badly hurt, not nearly as bad as Sara. Mostly bruises, but aside from those, a concussion, and a broken collarbone, she'll be fine. They're going to keep her overnight for observation, just to make sure there's no problems."

"That's good," I said.

"Yes…it is…"

Mrs. Owens choked up, and she leaned on me and hugged me as she started to cry. All I could do was stand there, shocked, and just hug her back as she let it all out. "She's…she's still alive," I reminded her. "At least Sara is still alive. She's losing her legs, but she…she still has her life. That's what matters, right?"

I knew I was horrible at offering condolences, but I was hoping that Mrs. Owens might take some solace in what I said. Whether it worked or not, I didn't know, because she only cried harder. _Shit, is she crying from relief or horror or what?_ I wondered.

"Where's the father figure?" Xania asked dryly. "Thought he'd be here too."

"He's…on a business trip," Mrs. Owens said, releasing me and wiping away some more tears. "I called him, and he said he'd be back as soon as he could."

"Lucy, is there anything you need?" Irodia asked. "Anything?"

"Prayers. Prayers are what Sara, her father, and I need right now."

"Should we stick around?" Mikhaila cut in.

"I don't see the need to. They said she'll be in surgery for a while longer, so I'm not sure we'll be able to see her till way later tonight at the earliest." Mrs. Owens managed to crack a smile. "Xania, Rocío, thank you again for saving her life."

"Rosho's the one who helped with Sara," Xania said. "I helped with Juls."

"Well, you both did wonderful." She looked at Irodia. "I'll be sure to call when she gets out of surgery."

"All right." Irodia hugged Mrs. Owens. "Take care of yourself, Lucy."

"I'll try. Thanks again."

The redheaded woman turned to us three and ushered us out. "Come on, let's go."

On the way to Xania's place, Mikhaila was obviously haunted by what could have been. She looked positively spooked. "I could've been in that car with 'em," she said, looking pale. "I could've been crushed too."

"For once, a major essay saved your life," Xania quipped.

"Xania," I warned, giving her the evil eye.

"Hey, I was just trying to lighten the mood!"

"I think Xania's right," Mikhaila mumbled. "It just might've. But I can't believe it… Two of my best friends are in the hospital, and one of 'em is losing her legs because of a freak accident…"

"Just shut up," I spat. "Stop saying that!"

"Rocío, calm down," Irodia cautioned. "Xania, we're at your house now."

"Ok," she said, opening the door and climbing out. "I'll see you at school tomorrow…" She stopped and corrected herself. "Oh wait, you got suspended. So, uh…"

"I'll come by," I said.

"Ok. See ya." She closed the door and headed inside, Irodia driving off once she saw that Xania was inside.

"We've all had a long day," Irodia said after a prolonged silence. "Mikhaila, we're glad that you're ok, and glad that you weren't in the car. Rocío, I'm proud of you for helping out after the accident, but please, don't take out your anger on Mikhaila."

"She keeps saying that word!" I protested. "And I've been there! That's not fair! She doesn't have a clue!"

"You're right, I don't," Mikhaila said. "I've broken my leg before though."

"That doesn't even come close. Trust me. What I went through, and what Sara is about to go through, is a LOT worse than just breaking your leg."

"But, Rocío, you were shot in the leg," Irodia pointed out. "Sara is actually losing hers."

"As far as I'm concerned, they're one and the same," I spat as the car pulled to a stop in the driveway. "For a while, it was like I'd lost mine, too."

Before either of the redheads in the car could reply, I climbed out of the car, slammed the door, and stormed into the house. How come nobody could understand what I was saying! Why couldn't they see it! Was it because they hadn't gone through it firsthand? Of course it was. It was like trying to explain to a blind person what colors look like; they wouldn't be able to truly comprehend it unless they suddenly were able to see and actually saw the colors for themselves.

_Nobody knows what it's like to lose a limb,_ I thought as I locked myself in my room. _But now, Sara will._

_-----_

When I laid down to go to sleep that night, sleep didn't come easy. My mind was too busy racing, thinking about that horrible accident that had happened literally right in front of me. I knew it wasn't Sara's fault; it had been raining hard, and she'd thought the light had turned green. It wasn't the semi driver's fault; he couldn't stop in time once Sara's convertible got in his path. Was it Mother Nature's fault? Probably not…this was what wintertime in Sacramento was like: lots of rain and some hail too.

But…could it have been my fault? Could it have been mine and Xania's for not yelling at her to stop, that we didn't have the right of way at the moment? Maybe, but then again, she might not have heard us even if we had done so.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I didn't know what to do now. Part of me wanted to be there by Sara's side, help her through this. Another part of me wanted to stay away as long as possible; it hit a little too close to home.

"Tortuous, isn't it."

"Huh?" I opened my eyes and looked around. Nobody was in the room, and yet…I could feel someone's presence, an eerily familiar one. "Boh…it's you… What do you want?"

"Face it, Yumeko. You're like a plague, cursing whatever and whomever you touch. You should just get away while you still can."

I looked around, managing to keep from jumping in surprise when the room disappeared and was replaced by a blackish-colored void. I'd been here before. "No, I think I'll just stay right here. Why don't YOU come out, huh? Come out here so I can kick your ass."

"Don't you see?" his voice inquired, echoing all around me. "This is part of the game. Why should I come out? Why don't you try to find me instead?"

"You were the one who did the chasing in Tokyo, not me. It's what you do best."

"Ah, but in the end, you were the one playing the cat, not I."

"Yeah, and I blew your brains out. So how is it you're still living in my head, huh? It's been like this ever since you fused with my hardsuit up on Genom Tower."

I could hear him chuckle. "I told you before. No one is really dead as long as they live on in your memories. The only reason I appear like this is because you still remember."

"Well, why wouldn't I? You killed Michiko and stabbed ME!"

"Exactly." Even though he wasn't in sight, I swore that he was smirking at this very moment.

"So what do you want now?" I inquired with a sigh. "There's nothing more you can do to me. You wore out whatever welcome you had long ago."

"Heh. It's simple enough. I'm here because of the incident your friend had this afternoon." He paused. "Do you feel guilty, Yumeko?"

"Guilty? Why would I tell you?"

"It's a simple question. I reason that you are feeling guilty, because you were unable to do a thing to prevent it from happening, just like you couldn't do a thing to prevent me from killing Michiko."

"Shut up," I growled. "I told you, never bring up Michiko."

"Your friend lost her legs, and Michiko lost her life. You were unable to prevent either from occurring. Does that haunt you?"

"I told you before, Boh, just shut up!"

"Your friend should have been more careful, as should have Michiko. But neither listened, and they both have paid the price."

I snapped my head in every direction, trying to figure out where the hell his voice was coming from. "That does it, Boh, where are you? Get out here!"

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"If you want to find me, then find me. Yelling won't do any good."

"Damn it, I'm not in the mood for games, Boh! Come out!"

"Could it be that you're looking to place blame for your friend's accident? Was it her fault?"

"It was rainy. She…she thought the light was green…"

"So it is nature's fault? Or should you blame your friend's poor judgment?"

"I'm not blaming either."

"Do you blame yourself?"

I stayed silent for a moment, then reluctantly said, "…No. Actually, I don't. It could have been a whole bunch of unfortunate things colliding at once for all I know."

"That's laughable." He paused for a moment, then asked, "Do you know what I find amusing? The fact that you're trying to place blame everywhere but on yourself. That, I find amusing."

Suddenly, I felt the floor disappear from beneath my feet. I gasped in surprise, then screamed as I started to fall down, down towards God-knows-what. And then, I felt a hand grab onto mine. I looked up and saw Boh looking down at me, grinning evilly.

"That look on your face," he noted, still grinning. "I find that amusing as well." And with that, he let go. And I was sent screaming as I resumed my free-fall…

…right back into my own bed.

I gasped and shot up in bed, covered in a cold sweat. I wiped the sweat from my face and looked around frantically. Once I realized I was alone, I sighed and flopped back onto the bed. A moment later, a crack of thunder sent me jumping again, and when I looked out the window, it was raining, again.

"Damn it," I cursed, slamming the window shut. I just couldn't stay still anymore for some reason; 'hearing' Boh tease me again had sent my nerves rattling. I stood up and paced the room a couple times, too wound up to go back to sleep, too hyper to even know what to do next.

I cursed under my breath and pulled off my nightshirt; it was soaked in my sweat. I pulled on a sweatshirt and jeans, then pulled on some socks and shoes and stormed outside into the pouring rain. I walked around the yard a couple times, then headed over to the side of the house, let out a scream of rage, and started pounding away on the brick wall. What the hell was I supposed to do? In a way, I did feel like it was my fault for Sara getting into that car accident. Why hadn't I tried to warn her?

"I'm a stupid bitch, I'm a stupid little BITCH!" I screamed at myself, continuing to pound, despite the fact my knuckles were being stained red from my own blood. Now Sara would have to go through the same hell I'd gone through! She'd have to go through months of physical and mental anguish, but in a way, hers was worse; I hadn't actually lost a leg. She had just lost both.

"Sara…I'm sorry… I should've done something…"

The world around me started to spin, and before I could try to regain my balance, everything went black.


	2. A cure for what ails you

For what seemed like forever, I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I could feel myself laying down on something soft and cushy, but I couldn't move, and I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't think, either; my head was spinning so much that it refused to let any thought enter. I couldn't hear a sound either, as if I had gone deaf.

And then, I felt something cold on my forehead. The sudden cold jerked me almost to full consciousness. I tried to open my eyes, but they refused to budge. And when I felt something take ahold of my hand, I tried to fight it off; what the hell was it?

"No…don't…" I tried to say, my lips numb.

"Rocío…it's ok…" I heard a voice say. "Irodia, she's waking up."

"Rocío?" a female voice said. "Wake up, honey. Open your eyes."

Finally, after an eternity of struggling, my eyes finally decided to open up. I looked up, and a blurry ceiling greeted me, and then a redheaded woman appeared in my view. I blinked slowly a few times before recognizing her.

"I…Iro…Iro…"

"Shh, you don't need to speak," she said, putting a finger to my lips.

I shook my head. "What ha…happ…"

"I don't know. I thought you could tell me." She paused. "Mikhaila found you outside when I was about to give her a ride to school. She and I brought you inside. You were practically hypothermic, dear. What time did you go outside?"

"Don't know. What time…?"

"It's about nine in the morning now. We brought you in two hours ago."

"Gave us a scare there," Tyler said from behind her. "You must've been passed out outside for some time."

"I couldn't…shut him up. He wouldn't shut up…" I moaned, closing my eyes, pulling the thermal blanket they'd put on me closer.

"Who wouldn't shut up?" Irodia asked once Tyler left the room.

"Boh…wouldn't… He…he was telling me it was my fault for Sara getting hurt, and for…for Micchan…"

"You had a dream about him?" I nodded weakly. "Yumeko, he can't do anything to you now. Dreams can't hurt you, and neither can he."

"But he did at one time," I countered, my voice hoarse.

Irodia nodded solemnly, then showed me the knuckles of my hands. They were black and blue, with more than a few scrapes and cuts on them. "What did you do to your hands?" she asked. "Were you punching the wall outside?"

"I think so."

"Did you think you were hitting Boh in a way?"

I tried to think back to last night, tried to remember how I had ended up outside. I remembered waking up from the dream, and then pacing my room for a bit. I remembered getting dressed, but everything after that was a blur. "I don't remember," I said, my voice in a whisper. "I don't know."

"That's ok, that's ok. You just rest now," she said softly, removing the cold washcloth from my forehead; that must've been the thing I'd felt earlier. "Just sleep. Just rest today. I don't want you catching pneumonia or anything. Good thing you were suspended, hmm?"

I could feel something in my head click. Suspension…rain… "Sara!" I gasped, almost bolting up from the couch. "What about Sara?"

"She's in the ICU," Irodia replied. "Lucy called about half an hour ago to let us know. She said she'll be there for a couple days." She laid me back down on the couch. "I'm sure she'll call if anything changes, ok? Just take it easy."

"I'm heading out now," Tyler said, coming back into the room, adjusting his tie.

"All right." Irodia kissed him. "Be careful out there."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." He looked down at me. "Rocío, take care of yourself, ok? Try not to do any more rain dances for the time being."

"Ok," I sighed, fidgeting. "I'll try."

It was so strange. I remembered waking up in my room after having the dream. I remembered thinking that maybe I could have done more to warn Sara. And yet, I could not remember storming outside in the middle of the night in the pouring rain to pummel the brick wall until I passed out. How could I not remember something like that? Obviously Irodia was not lying; one look at my knuckles was proof enough of that. They were so sore it was hard to even form them into a fist, let alone hit anything. Irodia wrapped them up in bandages, then made a pot of hot chocolate for me, propping me up with several pillows when it was ready.

After she set up a tray for me, she set down the steaming cup and dropped two marshmallows into it. "Here, drink up," she said. "It should help you feel better."

I shook my head. "I can't," I said hoarsely.

"Why not, dear? Would you rather have some tea?"

"No. No, thank you. I just…can't. I haven't had it since Michiko…"

"It's ok," she said softly, brushing my hair out of my face. "I understand. But I really think you should have a warm drink in your stomach. I don't want you getting sick, that's all."

"Irodia, really, I'm fine."

"At least just take a sip. One sip can't hurt."

I sighed and took the cup in both hands, blowing on it to cool it off. "Ok, I'll take a sip. But only because you asked." After blowing on it again, I slowly brought the mug to my lips and took a slow sip, making sure not to go too fast; I didn't want to burn my mouth or tongue, after all. "Wow, that IS good!" I exclaimed. "It tastes different. What did you put in it?"

"Coffee cream," she said. "Makes it not taste as bland."

"Coffee cream?"

"Yes. I was skeptical too, until Tyler assured me it was alright." She looked at my hands. "You may want to put that mug down, Yumeko. You look like you're about to drop it in your lap. Here, let me take it." She gingerly took it from my hands and put it down on the tray.

"Thanks," I said, rubbing my sore knuckles. I leaned my head back on the pillows that were keeping me propped up and sighed. "I didn't mean…for everybody to worry about me. You don't need to. I'd worry about Sara and Juliana, not me. I'm fine."

"You practically broke both of your hands. Of course I'm going to worry about that. And you could've frozen out there if you'd been out there much longer!"

"I don't think I'd freeze to death from rain."

"It's winter rain, quite different from summer rain. Winter rain can turn to snow at any time."

"In this part of Cali?"

"We're in northern California, so yes, we actually do see snow once in a while. Don't look so shocked," she answered wryly.

"What? The nation's fruitbasket gets frostbite every so often?" I joked.

"I wouldn't call it that. I'd give that title to Hawaii or Florida. You'll never see a case of so-called frostbite down there in those parts."

"What about in the next ice age?"

Irodia managed a laugh. "Well, it's nice to see your sense of humor didn't wither up and die out there. Would you be up for a visit from Xania later on?"

"Sure. I've been wondering how she's been handling it, too. She was really upset after the crash yesterday…"

"Well…you two DID see it happen right in front of you. If she's upset, little wonder why."

I nodded in agreement and cast my eyes down.

-----

During lunch hour, Xania gave me a phone call to update me on what she had heard about Sara and Juliana. She didn't sound much better than she did yesterday, but I couldn't blame her for that. I was still upset myself.

"Juls is supposed to be getting out tomorrow, I've heard," she said. "And Sara…damn, I…I still can't believe she lost her legs. I haven't heard anythin' 'bout her. Wonder how she'll react when she realizes she's missing half her extremities?"

"Xania, please," I moaned, gingerly cradling the receiver with one of my sore hands. "I don't think you're making things any better."

"Well, it's not like things could get any worse!"

"Sara could still die! She could get a blood clot in her lung or something! Believe it or not, just because she survived the crash itself doesn't mean that other stuff won't happen, because it could!" I snapped. "I'm hoping it won't, but she's not out of the woods yet. She'll be in the ICU for at least a couple days, so until she gets out of there, nothing's certain, but…but I'm rooting for her."

"I am, too, Rosho. I…I just still can't believe it," she mumbled.

"You better believe it, then. It's real enough for Sara, and I've gone through enough to know what it's like to be in her shoes."

"Are you gonna repeat that rant that you went on at the hospital yesterday? 'Cause if you are, I may as well just hang up and get back to lunch."

"Xania, you CAN'T ignore it. I know it's awful to hear, but pretending it's part of a movie isn't going to help! I know! Look…how about we go visit them at the hospital after school, ok? I wanna go, and I bet they wanna see us and know that we're there for them."

There was silence on the other end, then I heard a sigh. "…You're right. Okay, I'll go. But if I can't stand to stick around in there, then don't force me to. I hate hospitals."

"I think just about everyone does. I know I do."

-----

Once school was over, despite Irodia's protests that I wasn't well enough to be going anywhere, I headed over and picked up Xania, then we made the trip to Cyprus Medical Center. I'd removed the bandages from my hands and put on my biking gloves to cover up the cuts and bruises, since I didn't want anybody to start worrying about me. Gripping the handles and steering the bike all that way didn't prove to be the best thing for them -- they started throbbing less than halfway there -- but I put up with it.

"So how come they're keeping Juliana for another day?" I asked her as we parked in the parking garage. "I thought they were only keeping her overnight."

"So did I, but I guess they just wanna make sure she doesn't have to make an impromptu visit back anytime soon," she said, climbing off.

We were both quiet as we left the parking garage and headed across the street to the hospital. The last time we'd seen our friends was in a ball of metal that used to be Sara's car; what should we have expected upon seeing them again? I was sure it would be similar to what my friends in Tokyo saw when they were keeping a vigil over me at the hospital after the sudden end of the Boomer summit. But like I had thought last night, this was the first time I was on this end of the stick instead of the other. I would've rather not been a patient nor a visitor, but I knew that if I just tried to avoid this, pretend it never happened, that I would regret it later. They needed me right now, there was no way I could just abandon them.

In the elevator, when we were heading up towards the floor we'd been told Juliana was on, I swore that Xania had started to shake. I was about to ask her if she was alright, but somehow I knew that she'd just snap at me, and I stayed right rather than risk having her bite my head off over what she would probably deem not a big deal.

"How can you hum at a time like this?" she finally asked as we got off the elevator; to keep from asking her if she was ok, I'd started humming an old tune.

"I just felt like it," I replied nonchalantly, continuing the tune as we walked down the hallway. She listened to me for a moment longer, then got a disgusted look on her face.

"Is that _When Doves Cry_?" she remarked. "Damn, you must be an oldies fan!"

"Seemed like an appropriate song to hum. And I'm not an oldies fan, I'm just well-rounded in music," I quipped. "And considering you recognized the song, I could say the same about you."

"Ha! My mom listens to the oldies station all the time! Only reason I know the song!"

"What're you two yelling about this time?" a familiar voice asked.

Both me and Xania stopped bickering and turned to face the source of the voice. Standing in front of us, in a greenish hospital gown, a sling on her arm, and her hair up in a bun, was Juliana.

"Juls!" Xania exclaimed, hugging her gently. "God, girl, you look better than I thought you'd be!"

"Thanks," she said, trying to smile. "I'm just here for one more day and then I can go. But...I don't think I can if Sara's still here." She adjusted her sling.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I hurt all over, of course. But it got stuffy in that room so I thought I'd walk around a little bit." She glanced from me to Xania, then back to me again. "Have either of you heard anything about Sara? The doctors won't tell me anything."

"Sara lost her legs," Xania mumbled, looking down as she scuffed the sole of her shoe against the floor. "An' she's in the ICU. They said she'll be there for at least a couple days."

"I already knew all that." She sniffled and wiped a tear from her cheek. "After we crashed and I saw her legs, I already knew there was no way she'd be using them again. I told her...I told her the light didn't look green, but I guess she thought we'd been waiting long enough."

"We were just stopping to see how you were," I said. "We're going to go see Sara now, if they'll let us. Think they'd let you see her?" Juliana shook her head.

"They said it'd be a bad idea, that I should worry about myself right now. But I...just look at me! I'm alright and she's not! Of course I'm going to worry about her! She's one of my best friends!"

I started to reply, but was stopped when a woman shoved past me and embraced Juliana, who started to cry. "Now, dear, you can't get yourself worked up." The woman looked to be her mother. "We should get you back to your room!"

"No!" she cried. "I need to see Sara! I need to know how she is!"

"Xania," the woman snapped, turning towards her, "you and your friend should just go. You're making it worse."

"She wanted to know how Sara is, so we told 'er!" Xania snapped back.

"She's not in the state of mind to be able to handle something like that."

"The earlier she knows, the better," I interjected. "Better than feeling like everyone is lying to her by saying Sara is ok when she's not!"

"She's right, Mom," Juliana sniffed through her tears. "I wanted them to tell me. I didn't force it out of them."

"Hmph, fine," Xania said, turning to leave in a huff. "C'mon, Rosho, let's just go see Sara before this turns into a catfight."

"Why?" I asked. "Maybe I don't WANT to see Sara yet. Maybe I want to talk to Juliana's mom instead."

"What are you talking about, young lady?" the woman demanded. "Talk about what?"

"About keeping the truth from your daughter. Look, I got shot through the leg last year. Not in the leg, through. When I woke up I couldn't remember a damn thing, but once I figured out something was wrong with my leg, I demanded to know, and the docs threw the same hissy-fit you're throwing now. But I said I'd be finding out sooner or later, so I may as well learn it sooner. I had a breakdown after I learned the truth, but I knew I had to know." I took a breath. "No point in shielding anything, 'cause it'll come out sooner or later."

"How can you be walking if you were shot through the leg?" she inquired.

"Lots of physical therapy and lots of metal holding my femur together," I spat, not joking at all. "Okay. NOW I'm done talking."

"She's telling the truth, Mom," Juliana said, pulling away from her.

"Sara's not going to get any better with you down there fussing over her," the woman pointed out. "You can't do anything for her right now except get better."

"Since I have nothing to add," I cut in again, "I guess I'll be going. Hope we never meet again, ma'am."

Xania and I went back to the elevators and took it to the floor the ICU was on. I hadn't wanted to just leave on Juliana like that, but there was no point of staying if her mother was just going to harp on me. I couldn't even remember how it had gotten to that point, but I would have rather just not. I still found it odd that my friends were wonderful people and yet their mothers were just horrible, with the exception of Sara's mom, Lucy.

And speaking of Lucy…

"As much as I appreciate you two coming here to visit her," she said wearily, "I don't know if it's the best thing to do. She's been drifting in and out, and…and…"

"Are you just afraid to let us see her in that kind of shape?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "I've been in an ICU before, I ain't gonna see anything in there that's gonna freak me out."

"I don't care if anythin' in there freaks me out," Xania said quietly. "I…wanna see her anyway. It's gonna kill me if I don't."

"All right," Lucy conceded. "I don't think she realizes what's happened with her legs yet, so try not to bring it up."

I mumbled under my breath, then bit my lip to keep from saying anything else; I felt like saying "Why not?" – after all, once I knew something was wrong, I'd immediately wanted to know. I guess she didn't want to give Sara a rude awakening, but I didn't see the point of not letting her know. She would find out eventually. I sighed. Maybe she meant that Sara was too doped up to realize what was going on…oh hell. It confused me no matter how I tried to think of it.

Lucy led us to the door of Sara's room. I raised an eyebrow; all the private rooms in this section had clear walls so you could look into them, but I suppose that was for the doctors' benefit, so they could see if a patient was doing bad or fell outta bed or something. And heck…private rooms? When I'd been in the hospital, all the ICU patients shared one big ward-like room, with only curtains to separate them. I tried not to think about trivial differences like that as Lucy, Xania, and I walked into the room, the soft sound of beeping monitors greeting us. I looked up and saw a plasma TV on the wall, then looked to my right, where the sound of the monitors was coming from, and saw a small girl laying in bed, an IV in her arm and an oxygen tube across her face, two little prongs of it going up her nose. I looked for the lumps under the blanket where her legs would have been, but instead of seeing lumps, I just saw a flat blanket. I took a gulp of air and walked over to Sara's bedside.

"It's ok to touch her," Lucy whispered. "Let her know you're here."

Xania, afraid to move from the doorway at first, shuffled over next to me and watched as I took Sara's free hand into my own – the other arm was in a sling – and whispered to her. "Sara, it's me," I said softly, "Rocío. Xania's here too."

Sara's eyes fluttered, then she slowly opened them and, dazed, turned her head to look at us. "…Hey," she said tiredly, managing a smile. "What're you doing?"

"Visiting you, goofball," Xania joked, though from the look on her face, I could tell it was forced; the fake smile on her face wasn't the first thing to give that away. "What else would we be doing here?"

"Playing nurse, I suppose," she replied hoarsely. "An' by the way…didn't you dress as a nurse for Halloween a couple years ago?"

"Yeah, I did," she snickered. "Today I left that costume at home though."

I thought for a minute, wondering if this next question would be ok to ask, but I asked it anyway. "How are you feeling, Sara?"

She took a breath, then slowly brushed her bangs out of her eyes, her fingertips brushing the scab from the cut on her forehead. Whether she noticed that or not, I couldn't tell. "I remember driving in the rain…and then I remember you putting a coat over me…and I remember not being able to undo my seat belt…"

"She didn't ask about that," Lucy gently reminded her. "She asked how you're feeling."

Sara looked at the ceiling, deep in thought, as if she didn't know what was being asked. But after a brief pause, she looked at me again. "I…feel sleepy and dopey," she said, chuckling.

"If you're hurtin', you can just push the button on the morphine pump to make it stop," Xania suggested, looking a bit uncomfortable. _I didn't know she knew what a morphine pump is_, I thought.

"I'm ok," Sara said. "My legs feel a little funny, and I don't like having my arm in this thing, but…but I…" She yawned. "I don't mind it. It's kinda like having winter break extended a little longer."

Xania and I eyed each other nervously; apparently Sara didn't know about her legs at all. We both decided against mentioning it, though, just like Lucy suggested. "Kinda funny having it happen on the first day of spring semester, huh?" Xania asked.

Sara nodded. "Hope I don't get too much makeup homework to do."

"I'll make sure to bring it over," I joked.

We were only there for a little while longer. Although Sara had just woken up when we got there, after half an hour of talking she was already falling asleep again. Lucy suggested we leave and let her rest, and Sara reluctantly agreed. "I'd be a bit of a wet blanket if you were here and I was too busy sleeping to notice," she said, sleepily blinking her eyes.

"You take care, girl," Xania said, patting her on the arm.

"You too, Xania. Thanks for coming, guys."

"No problem," I said.

Once Xania and I were outside of the hospital, heading towards the parking garage, for no particular reason, Xania just started running ahead of me. "What's the hurry?" I shouted to her.

"Let's just get outta here!" she shouted back.

_What's up?_ I thought, running to catch up with her. By the time I did, she was already on my bike, ready to go. "What's going on?" I inquired. "I know you didn't wanna see Sara like that, but—"

"Fuck that! It's not her, it's the damn hospital! Could we just get goin'? I don't wanna stick around any longer than I got to, ok?"

"I don't like hospitals either. They're not exactly my favorite place to hang around, but if we have a friend in one we need to be there!"

"I can do that! Just not for that long! The smell, it's…it's…nauseating! I hate the hospital smell!"

"I put up with it for two weeks once," I pointed out. "What is it about hospitals you don't like? I know it can't just be the smell. Is it the sense of sickness and death you can't put up with? Is that it?"

"You don't need to know that," she said, lowering her voice. I could hear her voice shake. "It ain't important for you to know."

"Does it have something to do with your parents?"

Right on cue, a fist flew at me. I instinctively reached and blocked it with my hand, wincing as it started to throb underneath my biking glove. "Stop talkin' about them!" she snapped. "I told you, don't bring them up! They're dead to me, so stop resurrecting them!"

I got in her face. "Xania, I've seen more than you'll EVER know! Nothing you tell me about your parents will surprise me, ok! So just tell me!" I yelled.

"Not unless you tell me about your bastard of a dad! We made that promise, remember?"

"I don't care about that damn promise I made! That doesn't matter right now, because obviously something relating to your parents and hospitals is making you nervous, and I want to help you out with that!"

"I don't need your damn help, Rosho! I can take care of myself!" She jumped off my bike and stormed off.

"Hey!" I snapped. "You plan on walking home?"

"I'll take the damn bus! I ain't hangin' around you if you're gonna play counselor on me! Fuck that bullshit!"

"I thought I could take care of myself too, but look how I turned out! I'm on the run from a bastard I was forced to run from. I didn't decide to run, that choice was made for me. Do you really think I'm happy with that? Don't you think I'd rather be home leading a normal life, going to my normal school with my normal friends?"

Xania strided back over to me, incensed. "Normal? You'd rather get beat to hell by your dad than be here? That's sadistic."

I straightened up my back and looked her square in the face. "No, I don't think it is. I'd rather have a chance to face up to him than have my head buried in the sand here. Me hiding out here makes me appear to the world as a coward, and I know I'm no coward."

"Well, apparently for the past seventeen years you couldn't face up to him, so what makes you think you can do anything now, Rosho? Your whole life you've been a coward, so how are you suddenly gonna grow a spine, huh?"

I snorted. "You know, Xania, you and I are more alike than you think. Wasn't the decision to run away made for YOU as well, by Social Services? You seem like you're happy with it, and yet when your parents are brought up, you're running away all over again. And you're chiding ME for running? Just look at YOU! You're no better than I am, but I'm not claiming to know all the answers either. I still deal with my demons every day, just like you."

"I have my demons, I admit," she said quietly, fire in her eyes, "but I'd rather not drag anyone else into it."

"Me either. Which is why I have these." I pulled off my gloves and showed her my beaten and bruised knuckles. "I had a fight with my demons just last night. I don't think I won though. I guess it'll take more than just fists to deal with them."

Xania sighed. "No kidding."

-----

As soon as I got back to Irodia's place after dropping Xania off, I went to my room and passed out on my bed; the hospital visit and my subsequent fight with Xania had taken more out of me than I thought. I knew Irodia was going to chide me for going out in the condition I was in, but I didn't care, although I made it a point to get to my room as soon as I could. If she knocked on my door, wanting to talk to me, I didn't hear her; I was out like a log.

For better or for worse, I was out of school for the next week due to my suspension, but even if I could go, I don't think I could have concentrated on schoolwork anyway. Not only was one of my friends still in the hospital – Juliana was out now – but now I had pissed off another, and when I called her house to talk with her, she refused, especially when I mentioned wanting to visit Sara again.

"What's up with her?" I demanded to Xania's mom when I got the cold shoulder from Xania again. "Do you know why she hates hospitals so much? I thought I was bad about 'em, but she takes the cake."

"I think you can put two and two together, Rocío," she replied, sounding annoyed. "There was an incident with her parents and a hospital."

"I figured THAT much out, but she doesn't want to talk about it."

"She never does. She'd rather bury the past and go on with her life, just like most people. She knows she won't accomplish anything by wallowing in it. And as much as you might want her to get it out of her system, when it comes to the battle of wills, Xania usually wins. So don't push the subject." She hung up.

_Well, now I think I see why she has no close friends besides me_, I thought, cradling the receiver. _I'm the only one who's willing to put up with this. But how do I get her to talk about it without her wanting me to give lip in return too?_

As much as I hated to, I decided to leave Xania alone and let her stew in her own misery for a while; I knew if I tried to press the matter she'd just end up dragging me down with her. I suppose my suspension was a mixed blessing in that way. If I'd gone to school, we'd probably run into each other and end up fighting anyway.

During said suspension, Irodia wanted me to help her with the grocery shopping and chores around the house, but given what had happened with Sara, I just couldn't do that. Whenever I could, I'd sneak out and go to the hospital for a little bit to visit with her. She and Lucy both seemed grateful for that. In fact, I happened to be right there when she was aware enough of her surroundings to realize something wasn't quite right with her legs.

"Rocío, I can't feel my legs," she said, her voice choking up. Lucy had stepped outside for a minute to get a snack from the vending machine. "It doesn't even feel like they're there."

I took a big gulp of air and swallowed, leaning forward. "Sara…do you remember the accident?" I asked. "Remember how the front part of the car smashed your legs?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I bled a lot, and you put a coat over them to try to stop the bleeding."

"Yes, but…" I looked down, trying to figure out the right way to say this. When I'd been the one in the hospital bed, the doctors tried to dance around it, but came straight out with it once I pressed further. I didn't want to do that to Sara; it was her body, she deserved to know. "Sara, they couldn't do anything to save your legs. They tried really hard, but they were forced to amputate above the knee. That's why you can't feel them or move them, because you don't have them anymore."

Sara's jaw fell open slightly, then closed. She turned her head towards the window, blinking back tears. I looked down at her hands; the knuckles were white, she was clenching her blanket so hard. Then, one of her hands let go and took one of my hands into hers. She looked at me again with a sad smile and said, "I kinda had a feeling… Mom wouldn't answer me when I asked. She kept saying I needed to rest. Why was she afraid to tell me? I should've heard it from her, not you…"

"I think she wanted to protect you, even though you obviously would've found out sooner or later," I said softly, squeezing her hand. "But it's not the end of the world. I know exactly what's going through your mind right now, and…and I can help you get through it, if you want me to."

Sara started to cry, and nodded eagerly. "Yes, please. I don't want to be like this forever! I want to…I NEED to live again!"

"You could get cybernetic legs if you want. I dunno how long it takes to learn to use 'em, but—"

"Yes, yes, I want those. I don't want to be a cripple for the rest of my life," she said, her voice stronger than I'd ever heard it. "I wanna walk, I…"

"Oh dear God," I heard Lucy gasp. She walked over next to me and threw me a dirty look. "You told her!"

"I had to," I said stubbornly. "You were too scared to tell her, and she had a feeling something was wrong anyway."

"She's too weak to handle that sort of news! I was going to let her get some strength back first!"

"Mom, please," Sara pleaded. "It's ok. I wanted Rocío to tell me."

Lucy sighed. "I would've rather she not, but it's a little late to do anything about that now."

"How soon can she get artificial legs?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah, how soon?" Sara chimed in.

"Goodness, you look ready to jump out of bed already," the woman exclaimed, suddenly not looking so pissy anymore. "I don't know, I would have to ask the doctor. Hold on." She turned and headed out the door again.

"Oh, Rocío, I really hope it's soon!"

"I do, too. Hopefully you learning to use your new legs will be easier to do than it was for me to get mine back to near full strength."

"What do you mean NEAR full strength?" she inquired. "I've seen you on those bars. Your legs seem to work fine on that!"

"My legs get a workout from that, but the bars require more from your shoulders and arms and back than from your legs. The balance beam and floor exercises require a lot more from them. The beam…heh..." I scratched the back of my head and grinned shyly. "The beam was always a weak spot of mine to begin with. I'll have to work extra hard with my leg to get back to where I was on that."

"How long did you have to do physical therapy for?" she asked.

I thought for a moment. "Too long. I'm lucky I still have my leg, let alone walk with it without a brace. Still think it'll take a miracle for me to get to the Olympics though."

"Could you tell me about the therapy? I want to know what I'm in for."

"It's different with you," I sighed. "You won't have to do nearly as much. You'll have totally new legs. I got a hole blown in mine and had to learn how to use it again…" Right on cue, I felt it start to throb. I inwardly cursed and bent down to rub it.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, it just hurts whenever the weather's bed, that's all."

She looked at me glumly. "Are mine gonna be like that too?"

"I don't know."

Lucy came back into the room. "Sara, the doctor said he'll evaluate you in the morning. He said it takes a few days to prepare for the implantation surgery, so just letting you know you're not getting new legs tomorrow or anything."

"That's ok," Sara said, smiling. "As long as I get 'em soon!"

After I'd decided that I'd stayed long enough, I cut my visit short and left, despite Sara's insistence that I stay. I told her she needed her rest, and after she reluctantly gave in, I left and headed towards the elevator at the end of the hallway. I never would have expected such strength from someone like her. She had always seemed like the kind of girl who would cave under the right stressors, but on the contrary, losing her legs – and soon to gain cybernetic ones – seemed to bring out her tough side. I had to admire her for that; it made me wish I'd been stronger when I started my physical therapy. I could remember breaking down several times during therapy and after watching the gymnastics tryouts at school, frustrated with myself that I couldn't even take a single step without that damned brace.

Once I got off the elevator on the main floor, I headed towards the main doors, thinking, _I'll make sure she doesn't give up on herself, not like I wanted to do several times. I gotta show her that she'll have good days and bad. The poor girl, she has no idea what she's in for…_

Exiting the doors, I was greeted by a blue truck parked nearby. It looked familiar, but I couldn't place where I'd seen it before…until the driver hopped out.

"Hey there, Rocío."

"…Greg?"

Greg grinned and walked over to me. "Xania told me you'd likely be here, and I saw your bike parked over there," --He nodded towards the parking garage-- "so I thought I'd wait."

"You could've come up to visit," I pointed out, crossing my arms. "Sara could probably use all the support she can get right now."

"Didn't want to intrude. It wasn't my place. You're her friend, not me." He jabbed his thumb in the direction of his truck. "If you're on your way home, I could give you a ride."

"If you're referring to Irodia's house, that is not my home. Never will be."

"Ok, could I give you a ride back to Irodia's house then?"

"No thanks. I have my bike."

"I can put it in the bed of the truck. We wouldn't have to leave it here," he suggested.

I glared at him. "Greg, I've had a very bad week, and needless to say, Sara's had an even worse one. If you're trying to sweet-talk me, I'm not going to fall for it."

"Rocío, I have no tricks up my sleeve, ok? Nothing," he tried to assure me. "I'm not a would-be rapist, I have no hidden agenda, and if you don't trust me, feel free to run a background check on me if you think it's necessary."

My leg started to throb, letting me know a downpour was imminent. I winced and bent down to rub it. _A sign from the gods,_ I thought sarcastically. "Weeeell," I said, changing to a sweet tone, "my leg can't take this kind of weather very well, so…"

"What do you mean 'this kind'? It's just overcast."

"My leg hurts when it lets me know it's gonna rain. It just gave me the signal. I suppose it's a sign I SHOULD accept a ride from you, since you're offering." I bit the inside of my cheek.

"Cool, my own weather beacon," he joked. "Since you say it'll be coming down soon, I guess we should get going."

After I helped him get my bike into the bed of his truck, I got in the passenger's side and buckled my seat belt, Greg doing likewise. Before I knew it, we were already on the street, tiny raindrops starting to make their presence known on the windshield. I fidgeted and folded my arms over my chest. I knew Greg wasn't a bad person; deep inside I knew that, and yet…I was suspicious nonetheless. The words 'men' and 'bastards' seemed to be destined to always be in the same sentence. The word 'bastard' didn't seem to fit this guy giving me a ride, though. He actually had a good heart.

But would I admit that out loud? Not likely.

"Are you cold?" Greg suddenly asked. "You're fidgeting."

"No, I'm ok. Just thinking," I said.

"About what?"

"…Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Um…" What had I been thinking about before he had shown up out of nowhere? "Just…just admiring the grit Sara has had through her whole ordeal. I think she's dealt with it a lot better than I did when I was in the hospital."

"Is she going to get her legs replaced?" he asked. I nodded.

"She's all for it. The doctor is going to examine her tomorrow and see when the surgery can be performed."

"When can they do it?"

"I think Lucy said the doctor said it takes a few days to prepare for the surgery, so probably in the next couple days or next week or so."

"That's great," he said, smiling. "I'm happy for her. I hope she'll get used to her new legs and be able to get on with her life."

_Even I haven't been able to quite do THAT,_ I thought, frowning to myself. "Nothing is ever as easy as people make it out to be, Greg. They're naïve that way. I was naïve like that once too, but not anymore. But there's no point in mourning over the death of naïveté. For everyone, it dies sooner or later; either people give it up, or they try to hang on to it and get every last breath they can out of it."

"I think that's also called being in denial. But personally, Rocío, I'd rather live my whole life being naïve than constantly thinking that the world is out to get me, that it's all gonna come to an end. Instead of worrying over the fact that I'm gonna die someday, I just try to concentrate not on that, but that I'm alive right NOW, and I'm doing to do whatever I've wanted to do while I still can, before I become one of those old geezers who die regretting they've never done whatever they wanted to do with their lives. If you could choose, would you rather die at age twenty-five, having done everything you wanted, or live to be eighty and not having done a damn thing?" He paused. "I know what I would choose."

"Fact is, as you get older there's always gonna be more stuff that you'd like to do," I pointed out. "So I doubt that anybody dies having done truly everything they wanted to do. Me, I still have a lot of living to do…but…sometimes I don't know if I should."

Greg didn't say anything under we got to a red light. After he stopped the truck, he turned to me and asked, "Why not?"

"Before I came here, a friend of mine was murdered. She tried to protect me, and…I've never been able to get over that. I wish I could've done something to protect her, and I'll probably be asking that of myself for the rest of my life: what could I have done to help her? She was my best friend, I should've…at least tried." I felt my whole body tense up at the memory, emotions threatening to boil over inside me. I bit my lip and pushed them down until my body hurt with the effort. It was still all too fresh in my mind, the events of five months ago. Michiko WAS my best friend, but I didn't want to remember seeing the police cart her body out of that alley, seeing her necklace sans amber heart at the end of it. I refused to let that be my last memory of her.

My eyes were closed, but I felt a warm hand touch my left hand, and another hand touch my right cheek. When I opened my eyes, Greg turned my face towards his, and before I could react, I felt his lips on mine. A shudder shot through my body in surprise; indeed, I was so surprised I couldn't even pull away. I felt frozen in the moment.

"You looked like you needed that," he said casually as the light turned green and we headed down the street again.

"W…what…what…was that?" I stammered, the blood rushing to my face; I was sure my eyes were as wide as saucers. "You kissed me!"

"Yes, I did. And like I said, you looked like you needed it. Plus, it was a good distraction, wasn't it?" He grinned innocently.

"You KISSED me!"

"You act like you've never been kissed before," he said, laughing. "Man, you should see yourself in the mirror now!"

"I'm not saying I didn't like it. It just…surprised me, that's all."

"I guess you would have liked fair warning first?"

"…Something like that!"

"Should I get permission next time?"

I blushed an even deeper red. "I…no, I didn't say that, either. I'm just…I…damn, I don't know what to say."

Greg snickered and turned onto Irodia's street. "That's ok. Can't expect everybody to know just what to say all the time."

"R-right…"

As he pulled into the driveway, it became apparent to me: he'd probably given me a ride home not only because it was part of his chivalrous self to help out a 'damsel in distress,' but also to plant a kiss on me when I least expected it! He'd had it planned!

"You sure went through a lot of trouble if all you wanted to do was kiss me," I said as we got out of the truck and unloaded my bike from the bed.

"Yeah, but if you really want something, it's worth the trouble, right?" he asked.

"But it was a measly kiss."

"Well, YOU sure didn't treat it like a measly kiss!"

"Hey!" I snapped teasingly as I swatted him on the arm, making him laugh.

"Am I right?"

"Yes, you're right. But don't mention this to anybody."

"Of course not, unless you say it's ok to."

"It's NOT ok. I'm sure you meant to do that in the privacy of your truck just to make sure there wouldn't be any gossip going around."

"Of course." He kissed me on the cheek, and this time, I didn't flinch. In fact, it even felt nice. I touched my hand to the spot where his lips had been as he said, "See you at school, Miss Monterrey."

"Sure, sure," I groaned.

As he pulled away, I just stood there in the driveway, my hand still on my cheek, having completely forgotten about the pouring rain I was standing in. The hazy confusion dissipated after not too long, during which time I thought, _What a jerk! He ambushed me!_ But why hadn't I hit him when he'd ambushed me? Because it…felt nice? Ha!

_But it did kinda feel good… Oh hell. What am I supposed to do? He has a crush on me!_

_-----_

If Irodia noticed that something had happened when I walked in the door, my cheeks still slightly red, she didn't say anything, and neither did Tyler or Mikhaila. And damned if I could hardly get a wink of sleep that night! Stupid Greg, kissing me like that! Why couldn't I stop thinking about it? The feel of his lips on mine had long since vanished, but the memory refused to do the same. His hand on mine, followed by…argh! I swore I was going to punch him in the arm next time I saw him, or better yet, in the mouth so he wouldn't be able to kiss me due to a swollen lip!

Things have a way of not working out like you plan 'em, I suppose. I learned that whenever I saw Greg at school for the next two or three weeks; he musta known I was out to get him, because whenever we did see each other in the hallway, he made it a point to stay out of arm's reach of me. I'd nonchalantly pass him by, giving him an evil look, while he just stood there with a silly smirk on his face.

The situation with Xania gradually started to go from cold to lukewarm as February approached, which was probably easier for both of us since we did share several of the same classes, during which we did sit next to each other. At first she'd just ignore me, but after only a few days it became evident that she wouldn't be able to do it; she admitted as much later on.

I don't know how long it took her to learn about the little incident between Greg and me, but I know she didn't learn it from me. Nonetheless, the day she asked about it, I saw her reaction coming a hundred miles away.

"About damn time!" she exclaimed at the beginning of February, a full two weeks after said incident.

"About damn time for what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, although I had a feeling what she was inkling at; the goofy grin all but gave it away.

"I told ya he's a good kisser! Ain't I right, huh? I knew it was only a matter of time!"

"You mean Greg?"

"Who else would I be talkin' about? Of course I mean Greg!"

"And who told you about this?" I inquired.

"I'll just say I have my sources," she replied curtly. "Ya know what they say about that."

"Yeah, yeah."

"So fill me in!" She practically jumped out of her seat as she said that. "Inquirin' minds are dying to know!"

"Nothing to say, it was a run-of-the-mill kiss," I said, though I didn't know exactly what that meant.

"Yeah. Fucking. Right," she snickered. The teacher walked in at that moment, and while she told everyone to settle down, Xania whispered to me, "I want details later. Mind if I come to your place after school?"

"I have my tai chi lesson today."

"I know. I'll come by after you're done."

I rolled my eyes. "I'd rather not talk about it. Any way I can buy my way outta this?"

"Not today," she replied with a smirk, flicking her tail against her chair.

-----

"It's nice to know that you and your friend are patching things up again," Kenneth said as we worked on warm-up exercises. "I can say that I almost missed her wisecrack remarks while she'd sit and observe."

"I was surprised that she even joined in during a few sessions," I admitted. "But that didn't last."

"No. She thought it was silly."

"But she did admit her legs hurt like hell after she first tried it out!"

"Another reason she relegated herself to observer. A pity I couldn't get her to join us."

I stopped stretching my legs and started twisting my torso from side to side, elbows bent. "She's into the fast stuff, like karate. Only fast stuff I've been into is sparring and gymnastics."

"How has that been going?" he asked, beckoning us to start on the long form. "Your gymnastics, I mean."

"It's been a little hard to stick to my original plan," I said, slowly making my way through part one of the form. "I wanted to come here to the gym every day after school and practice until it closes at nine. But I've been spending a lot of that time visiting Sara in the hospital, and plus Irodia wants me to make homework a priority."

"School should be one of your priorities," he agreed, going through the brush-knee sequence.

"I don't care about school. I'd rather get lost in my workout than in a pile of textbooks."

"Unfortunately, Rocío, the worst thing getting lost in textbooks will do is give you a brain freeze. The worst you can get from gymnastics is a torn ACL and the loss of that as your career as a result. Or a ruptured Achilles tendon."

"People have recovered from those. I'd still like to see how many have recovered from getting a hole blown in their leg."

Kenneth sighed and stopped after he finished part one, prompting me to stop as well. "I don't think you should get your hopes up. You haven't told me how long it's been since your last competition, and I don't know if the Olympic committee would consider someone who's been idle for the last who-knows-how-long."

"That wasn't my fault!" I snapped. "Do you think I MEANT to get shot? 'Cause I didn't! I'm lucky I can even walk without a brace!"

"Yes, you are. That in itself is a miracle, which is why I feel it necessary to point out that your Olympic dream is a long shot at best. I'm not saying this to discourage you, Rocío, I'm simply telling you the reality of your aspiration."

"That's what Boh said too," I mumbled to myself through gritted teeth.

"What was that?" he asked, leaning in closer.

"Nothing," I responded flatly. "People in the gymnastics world know who I am. They also know what I've been through and why I haven't been in competition lately. That said, I think they'll at least let me give them a show to see what I can do."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I just have a feeling is all."

He scratched at his chin, deep in thought. "If you're a diamond in the rough as you seem to claim to be…then how come there isn't a horde of reporters following you around as you aspire to be the comeback kid of the year?"

"Just lucky," I replied blandly, biting my cheek as I knew that I couldn't tell him the true story. Low profile, everybody had told me to keep a low profile…it was part of the reason I hadn't dared to join the high school gymnastics squad when I'd come to Sacramento. Besides, at the time I had barely done any gymnastics workouts at all, not to mention I was still recovering from Boh practically gutting me. But oh, here in February, how far I felt I had come!

…Well…physically, at least.

Emotionally was a matter that I was wont not to touch upon even briefly. Whatever went on in my head, I wanted to stay there, buried underneath that layer of grey matter and other stuff. I just figured if I could make myself feel good physically, then feeling good emotionally would naturally follow.

Oh, how naïve that thought was.

-----

My head swam during the drive back to Irodia's house from the gym. It was February now, and that meant the NHK Cup – which was basically considered the preliminary round for the Olympic trials – was in three months. I was practically hell-bent on making sure I'd be home in time to participate in the event, but Kenneth's earlier remarks stabbed into my subconscious like needles. He'd been right; I'd been out of competition for a long time, as much as I hated to admit it, even to myself. Sure, I'd been all-around champion at Nationals in '54, and third all-around at Worlds the same year, but I didn't know if that would mean a damn thing in the long run.

For one, those weren't the most recent Nationals or Worlds to have occurred, so I wasn't exactly reigning champ at the moment. And on top of that, I'd done those competitions before I became a Knight Saber…

…before I'd been shot at the summit…

…before I'd been stabbed by Boh…

…before Michiko was killed…

I squeezed my eyes shut as images of those events flashed in my head. Boh's smirk, the twinkle in his eye…the Boomer's laugh as it choked me after I'd been shot and was completely helpless…Michiko telling me goodbye for the last time, saying she would see me tomorrow…

"Damn it!" I cursed to myself, pulling over to the side of the road. Becoming the mood, the sky was overcast, threatening to dump rain on me. I yanked off my helmet and slammed it to the ground; at the same moment, there was a crack of thunder in the background.

"Tomorrow never came!" I screamed into the sky. "Where is it? Why can't I have it NOW? Give it to me! Give me back Michiko!" I dropped to my knees, my body shaking from the emotions threatening to burst forth inside me. I couldn't let them gain control…I couldn't lose myself again…I didn't want to…

I slammed my fist into the sidewalk, screaming aloud in desperation. February! The past six months were six months that Michiko never got! Why should I have gotten them when she didn't? She'd been more deserving of them than I was! Why did she die and I didn't? I couldn't understand it at all! It had always seemed like good-hearted people were the first to meet death, but why? I wanted to hear the answer!

But I knew that only God knew the answer. And, pun not intended, Lord knows that He wouldn't tell it to me, wanting me to figure it out myself. _No…it can't be that Michiko was too good for this planet,_ I thought. _She's too good for heaven! That's what it is! So why isn't she still here and not up there!_

"IT'S NOT FAIR!" I screamed, arching my head back, letting the now-pouring rain drench me. "IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!" I pounded the sidewalk again, my wet bangs sticking to my forehead, my drenched hair plastered to the back of my neck. Why did she leave? She wasn't supposed to! We Knight Sabers were supposed to be the ones to die, not the innocents! Not our best friends!

I felt a warm wetness make its way to my lips. It was unlike the cold rain pouring down on me; it tasted salty. I wiped away the moisture from my face, and came to the realization that I must have been crying. But I hadn't felt like I was. I'd thought I was just screaming, screaming to nobody, maybe screaming to God, hoping He would hear me… Ah hell. Even if I'd been heard, I doubted He'd care enough to give me an answer anyway. Nobody wanted to be straight with me, it seemed…not even my fellow Sabers or my own mom.

I clamped my hands together, imagining them around Boh's neck. Oh, how I wanted to have the chance to kill him again for what he'd done to Michiko, to me…but damn, if wishes were horses, I'd be knee-deep in shit, wouldn't I… Hell, I think I already was. But since I obviously couldn't kill Boh again, I figured I'd try to do the next-best thing: find a release for all this anger, these emotions that were ready to practically pour out of my ears, I was so filled to the brim with them. I had to get them out!

At this rate I knew I couldn't head back to Irodia's house, not in the state of mind I was in; I was probably liable to kill somebody over there. Where was a place I could go to find a somewhat-safe outlet for my rage? I felt the lump in my jacket where I kept my gun, and the answer came to me:

The Black Spider.

-----

"Damn it!"

I threw myself against the side of the dumpster for the umpteenth time, trying to move it aside so I could get into the Black Spider. I shoved all my weight into it, but it barely moved an inch. Damn, it was so much easier when I had Xania with me. When I decided to come here, I'd completely forgotten about the dumpster. Dumb move.

"Hey. You're Rocío, right?"

I turned around at the sound of a male voice directed at me. "Yeah, how did you kn…" I peered closer at the man's face. "Oh! Juan! What're you doin' here?"

"I'd ask you da same thing. Need help wi' dat dumpster?"

"Yeah. I didn't know how hard it is to move by myself."

Needless to say, with an extra person, the dumpster was a lot easier to move, and in a matter of seconds the door to the shooting range was exposed. Juan and I entered and headed down the stairs, and I mentally hit myself over the head when the horrific smell emanating from the halls hit me; I kept meaning to bring a noseplug whenever I came here, but it always slipped my mind…

"Look what the cat dragged in," Bert quipped when he saw me and Juan. "A drowned rat."

"Not quite drowned, just merely gagging for air," I said, brushing my soaked bangs out of my face. "You here all the time or what?"

"Somebody's gotta be here if anybody needs some firearms," he said, shrugging it off. "Either me or Juan'll be here."

"Anybody else help you run this place?"

"Yeah, but I ain't at liberty to tell ya who." He struck a match and lit up a cigarette. "What do you need, kid?"

"Just…pissed at myself, pissed at the world. Hell, who am I NOT pissed at?" I started pacing back and forth. "My life is…a hellhole! The last year, year and a half…I'd rather just forget any of it happened! And I can't! I try to push it out of my mind, and I just can't! I can't forget that my best friend died, that I was shot and stabbed and…and tortured!"

Bert took a drag of his cigarette, then blew the smoke out of his nose. "Life is like that. Fucks you in the ass till the day you die. Sometimes the only thing you can do to make it any easier is to invest in a good lube."

"A…a lu…huh?" I stammered. Interesting analogy there, I guess… I was dumbstruck. "Ok, and what the hell would come closest to a lube, huh?"

He walked over to the gun cabinet, unlocked it, and threw the doors open. Bending down, he lifted up one of the planks that made up the bottom of the cabinet and took up something in his hand. Motioning to Juan to lock the cabinet up again, he walked over to me and dropped it in my hand. "That's what I'd call a lube," he said.

I didn't even need to read the label to know what was in the bottle. The bottle was identical to one that I'd had during my months of rehab for my leg. "Hydromorphone," I breathed.

"Oh, familiar with it?"

"You could say that. I practically got addicted to this stuff after I got shot."

"Yeah, morphine and its sibs will do that to ya if you're not careful," he agreed, taking another drag from his cigarette. "ODing is a real bitch with that stuff too."

I nodded, remembering what I'd heard about painkillers like morphine. One of the effects of it was that it slowed down a person's respiratory system. Too much of it and it'd shut it down entirely. Wouldn't be a bad way to go, actually, but then again, I wasn't considering suicide. I just needed an escape, that's all.

"So you're a gun dealer AND a narcotics dealer. Deal anything else I don't know of?"

"Nope, that's it. But if you want that stuff, I'm gonna have to have ya gimme your gun first."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why?" I inquired.

"Guns and drugs don't mix," he said in a deadpan voice. "Playin' with a gun while high can lead to some bad shit, get my drift?"

"Makes sense, I guess. When would I get my gun back?"

"When you're off your high."

"Can I just buy this stuff from ya and use it elsewhere?"

"You could, but I ain't responsible for anythin' that happens outside o' this place."

I opened the bottle and filled the dropper with the pink liquid. "How much for the bottle?"

"Seventy-five bucks, and I ain't doin' payment plans with that either."

"Fair enough." I emptied the dropper on my tongue and swallowed the fluid, then whipped out my wallet and handed him the money. He motioned for my gun, too, and I rolled my eyes and handed it to him.

As I felt the familiar buzz start to kick in, I smirked and plopped down on the floor. I just felt like moving around in circles, it was so pleasant. "I jus' came here to fire my gun a bit," I said, giggling. "To let off some stress, y'know. If I'd known you had drugs too, I mighta gotten some earlier!"

Bert ground out his cigarette under his boot. "What kinda drugs you done b'fore?"

I shrugged. "Just this stuff. Never done weed or heroin or anything like that. Painkillers work for me just fine."

"Painkillers, y'know, ain't anything to fuck around with. It's too easy to get dependent on 'em, and then without 'em that ass-fuck that life is givin' ya will hurt all the more. I don't recommend you use it every day."

"Oh, I know, I know," I said, rolling the bottle between my palms. "I know enough not to do THAT, but I do love the buzz it gives me. I feel very…giggly right now. My leg isn't hurting anymore either." My leg, which had been hurting like hell earlier due to the rain, now felt fine, the throbbing reduced to a fraction of what it was before. I bent it several times; it was still kinda stiff, but that was better than it hurting.

The last time I could recall taking hydromorphone was the night I went to Genom Tower and killed Boh. I'd used up the last of it, and since there hadn't been too much left, it hadn't given me a buzz; it had, however, dulled the pain from my stab wounds. That was only one of many times I used it to seek release from my physical pain. It dulled the mental pain too, but only somewhat. Just because I was buzzed at the moment didn't mean that I forgot about Michiko.

"She's not feeling any pain now," I told myself softly, rocking my body back and forth. "She'll never have to feel it ever again."

"Who ya talkin' about?" Juan asked, lighting up a cigarette of his own.

"My friend Michiko… She was killed, and I couldn't do anything about it. I still think it should've been me and not her."

"You can't help that," Bert grumbled. "That's life fucking you in the ass again. Losin' a friend is one of the hardest things you'll ever go through, and I dunno if any drug'll help with that kinda pain." He smirked. "Doesn't mean you can't try though."

"If I could undo it, I would. I really wish I could."

"Everybody wants to undo certain events. But imagine how fucked up history would be if everybody had a time machine and went back to undo this or that, or change this or that!"

"I can't."

"Me either. Now you see my point." He paused. "Life events shape us, whether we like 'em to or not. Change one of those events and you'll change who you are."

"If Michiko were alive, I wouldn't be half as bitter as I am now."

"Probably, but there's no way of knowing now. And who knows, maybe you'll learn somethin' from her death."

"Like what? That life DOES suck as much as I think it does?"

"Among other things," he said, nodding.

"For some reason you sound like some old mage or something to me," I mused, managing a smirk. "Why?"

"I ain't old, and I ain't no mage. I'm just a guy who knows all too well what hindsight is. That's part of how I got this." He pointed at the scar above his right eyebrow. "I know what it's like to lose a friend, kid. I accidentally helped get him killed. I ain't goin' into details, but when I realized his death was partly my fault, I tried to put a bullet in my head, but my hand was shakin' too damn much, and the gun discharged. The bullet shot up right in front o' my face and caught me just above my brow."

My eyes widened. "W…when was that?"

"Years and years ago. I musta been, what, seventeen at the time or somethin'."

"…I'm seventeen now," I said slowly, my tongue not wanting to work. "And I was responsible for Michiko's death."

"Suicide's just the easy way out," he told me, startling me when he bent down and put a hand on my shoulder. He hadn't seemed like the type who liked to be touched. "I said that life is always fuckin' you in the ass, and going on livin' when you feel like dyin'…THAT'D be your version of giving it the bird. I like giving life the bird every fuckin' chance I get."

"Amen!" Juan coughed.

"I hear that," I agreed. When life shoves you, you gotta shove back…that was the gist of it. I was sure trying to push back, and hard, but what if I was tired of shoving?

No…that wouldn't happen. I couldn't let it happen. Had to keep shoving…it was the only way to keep going…

It was the only way I knew how…


	3. Blood and ashes

The nineteen years between battles had seemed to stretch on forever. Of course, I did have my tours and Yume to keep me busy, but part of me had always known that Genom would surface again. But nineteen years later? I hadn't thought it'd take that long, and at least it didn't happen while I was out on tour. I wouldn't have wanted to leave my friends to fight the battle without me, partly for their own safety, and partly because I'd have been missing out on the fun!

That first battle in October '54, after nineteen years, I felt so alive again, and yet at the same time, I felt a little rusty. Being out in a hardsuit wasn't exactly something I'd done on a regular basis lately. And honestly, part of me actually didn't long for the Knight Saber days. I'd actually…been happy the way life was, paparazzi and all. But now, a year and a half after we'd started up again, I felt like my nerves were shot. They'd never felt like this when we were fighting back in the '30's!

But back then, I didn't have Yume to worry about. And now I did. She was still a child and already somebody's hit list had her name on it. Hell, when I was her age mine was probably on somebody's too, but not on Genom's! The thought of somebody trying to harm her…it turned my stomach, to say the least. Every battle we went and fought, I'd worry about her, even when I didn't admit it. So when the summit attack happened, and months later, Boh attacking her…I felt so damn responsible it was like I could feel her pain, feel myself getting shot and stabbed. I could taste her tears. It was the worst taste in the world.

_Damn, I think I'm too old for this,_ I grumbled to myself as I pulled on my innerwear, ready to kick more Boomer asses. There hadn't been any Boomer rampages lately, and while Linna and Nene were glad for the reprieve, I was in fact very wary. They happened on a semi-regular basis a few months ago, but for the past few weeks there hadn't been any at all, and me being the cynical type, I figured something had to be up. I just wished I knew what.

"I bet you're happy to get back out there, huh?" Linna chuckled, climbing into her hardsuit. As the armor folded over her chest and clicked shut, she added, "I guess it's hard to keep yourself entertained all the time."

"Right," I replied dryly. "I need no help there, thanks."

"Valentine's Day is in four days," Nene chimed in, slipping into her own suit. "But I bet the only thing you're going to be with that night is the TV and a beer."

I shrugged. "Maybe. And I bet you're gonna go rent out a hotel room and torture poor Mackie."

"Am not!"

"I'm sure he wouldn't complain," Linna pointed out, a smirk on her face. "I wouldn't either."

"And we all know how you're the S&M type," I quipped, pulling on my helmet. She just snickered and wagged her finger at me, as if to say, "Priss, you naughty girl!"

"Let's focus, ladies," Sylia interrupted, motioning everyone to get into the van. "The situation tonight is nothing to make light of. How many does the radar show, Mackie?"

Mackie, sitting in the driver's seat as usual, pressed a few buttons on the dashboard and read out the results. "Definitely nothing to sneeze at, Sis. Five BU-33Bs, eleven 55Cs, and two guardian-type Boomers."

"Guardian-types?" I repeated sourly. "Why bother?"

"Decoys, probably," Linna offered.

_Some decoys,_ I thought. _I could take 'em out in one shot._ May not have set off any alarms to the two girls sitting next to me, but I could hear them blaring in my head. What the hell were those bastards at Genom up to? Sylia turned her head to look at me for a split second, then turned and ordered Mackie to get us to the location of the Boomers – Aoyama district – as fast as possible. I wished I could have seen the look in her eyes, but at the same time, I didn't need to. I was sure she was thinking the same thing as me.

"I could probably take care of the guardian Boomers," Nene said after the silence that had ensued as everybody mentally prepared themselves started to get painful.

"Don't worry about it, Nene," Linna replied, turning to her. "Just keep back and stay on the lookout."

"And try to stay out of the way," I added, rolling my eyes, though since my visor was down, nobody could see that.

"I'll be fine," she retorted with a toss of her head.

"We're five kilometers out," Mackie called out.

"Roger," Sylia said. She stood up. "Nene, you're coming with me. Priss, Linna, I advise you two not try anything rash. There are a lot of Boomers and a lot of potential collateral damage if we're not careful. Let's make this as quick and clean as possible."

"Quick, I can do. Clean, I dunno," I joked, climbing onto my Motoslave, which was in bike form.

"Priss," she said sternly, "I'd like to keep casualties to a minimum. At least TRY not to waste time. No 'testing' the Boomers out. Just kill them and be done."

"Fine, fine, I hear ya."

Linna climbed onto her Motoslave, while Sylia opened up the roof hatch and climbed through, Nene following close behind. At Mackie's two-kilometer warning, the sound of explosions and gunfire suddenly came into play. I couldn't deny the fact my heart was starting to pound with anticipation, although I knew I wouldn't be allowed to hang out and 'play' with the Boomers for a while. Ah well; I guess it would suck if people got killed because I was taking my sweet time. Couldn't argue with Sylia there.

The sides of the van opened, and the moment the hydraulic booms deployed, I could hear the bullets whizzing by me. _Ok, let's do this,_ I thought, revving up my bike.

"Knight Sabers, go!" Sylia yelled. And so the dance began.

Sylia and Nene leapt off of the roof of the van, Sylia using her flight wings, Nene with her jumpjets, while Linna and I were dropped from the booms onto the road. Mackie turned left on the first road we came to, and a few seconds later, at the third or fourth road, Linna made a sharp turn right, the wheels on her bike squealing loudly at the sudden movement. I kept going in the direction we'd been going in at the beginning, right into the thick of it.

"Priss!" came Nene's voice over the comm. "33B at ten o'clock! Two 55Cs at nine!"

"Roger that!" I affirmed. Activating my jumpjets, I leapt off of the bike and made it transform into its Motoroid form. Once it had transformed, it cocked the huge gun on its right arm and jetted in the direction of the two 55Cs. I jetted straight upwards onto the roof of a nearby building, where my scanner had said the 33B was, and sure enough, no sooner had I landed than I was greeted with a barrage of lasers. I ducked down to avoid them, but one grazed my shoulder, leaving a scorch mark there to remind me; it didn't penetrate, however.

"No playing tonight. Enjoy this while ya still can," I spat, making my charge. The Boomer did likewise, lowering its head and coming at me like a bull towards the red flag the matador was waving. I jumped up and did a roundhouse kick, connecting with its head with my Leg Bombers, followed by a half-dozen railgun needles. It swung at me furiously with one fist, me barely able to duck in time to avoid it. I rolled to the side, then swept my leg under the Boomer's feet. It didn't trip it, but did leave the thing stumbling for a moment. That gave me my chance.

I got to my feet, crouching down, then rammed my whole body into the Boomer's stomach, my Knuckle Bomber leading the way. After another similar punch to the chest, I slapped one of my S-Mines onto its chest and did a few back-handsprings to get out of the way of the impending explosion.

A 33B dead less than a minute after the battle started; if it was a new record, I wasn't keeping track. In any case, I didn't quite get far away enough to avoid the blast; when the S-Mine went off, I was still close enough for the shock wave to actually make me stumble backwards. A few more scorch marks on my suit to match the one on my shoulder, but they were nothing; I myself didn't have a scratch.

Deciding to check on Typhoon III's progress against the 55Cs, I leapt down from the building and landed in the street just in time to observe it crushing one of the Boomer's heads against a brick wall. I smirked as the Boomer dropped, dead, only meters from its companion, which was in a similar state.

"So much for clean," I quipped, chuckling. "But we got 'em."

My scanner started beeping again, letting me know there was another Boomer in the vicinity. It wasn't one of the 55Cs or 33Bs, though. It was one of the dinky guardian Boomers. The sound of a heavy vehicle getting started up let me know it was trying to make a quick getaway.

"Stupid bastard. Thinks he can get away, huh?" I remarked to myself, jetting back onto the rooftop. Spotting the truck heading down the street, I started building-hopping in pursuit of it. When I was close enough to see the windshield, I jumped down on top of the front of the car and punched through the windshield. The Boomer didn't have a chance; I punched through its head with my Knuckle Bomber, orange fluids gushing out of the stump. As it slumped to the side, I got my whole body through the windshield, then, sitting down in the driver's seat, stomped on the brake pedal, bringing the truck to a halt.

I climbed out of the truck and scanned the cargo section to see if there were any more Boomers that might've been hiding in there, and what came up should have put me on edge.

But it didn't.

"Nothing in there," I fumed; no Boomers in the back of the truck, but that wasn't it. Absolutely nothing had come up on my scanner. The damn thing was empty.

I couldn't even complete my next thought, the attack came so suddenly. The only thing I was aware of was something bright smashing into the front of my helmet. I screamed as I was thrown back several feet, shattered glass stinging my entire face. Where the hell had THAT come from?

"Shit!" I cursed, rubbing my face with my hand to clear away any embedded glass. Once I could get my eyes open, I immediately let out another scream as something slammed hard into my arm, making a sickening breaking sound as that something made contact. I instinctively rolled my body away from whatever was attacking me and jumped to my feet, grabbing my arm in pain.

Another Boomer. And it definitely wasn't one of the ones Mackie said there was. Hell, I'd never seen this type before; it was three meters tall, and didn't have any weapons from what I could see. But that last thought was quickly put to rest when the Boomer opened its mouth and fired its mouth cannon at me. I ducked down to avoid it, but then the Boomer was right there in my face again, and I found myself with my feet over my head when it tripped me up in a similar fashion to what I'd done to the 33B just minutes earlier. I tried to get up, but was pinned down when the Boomer grabbed me by the helmet and started shoving my head into the pavement.

"What—the—hell?" I screamed, trying to squirm my way out of this position. What kind of Boomer was this! It was freakishly powerful…unlike anything I'd fought in a long time…

"It's not so fun when you're on the receiving end of these blows, is it?" the Boomer inquired in a voice a full octave lower than anything I'd heard come out of a human, and entirely serious. It lifted me up by my head, making me cry out in pain. I grabbed the Boomer's arm with my good arm, hoping to keep as much strain off my body as possible. With my bad arm, I drew my fist back and pounded the Boomer in the face with my Knuckle Bomber, making me scream with the pain that shot up that arm as a result. The Boomer released its grip on my head, and I dropped down to the ground, landing on wobbly feet. I took a few steps back and crouched down into a fighting stance, preparing for its next move.

The Boomer didn't charge towards me like it had done before, though. It calmly walked towards me, glowing red eyes narrowing as they glared in my direction. Its face had been charred when I punched it before, but now…now it actually looked like it was healing up. Newer flesh crept across the charred flesh, slowly covering up all of the wounds. Seeping into the blackened wounds, it slowly took shape, and my jaw half-dropped when in a matter of seconds, the Boomer's face looked good as new.

It could regenerate itself. Wonderful.

The Boomer didn't say anything, only walking towards me with the same menacing look as ever. I growled, then figured that this was my chance, probably the only one I had to land a decent blow, and hope that it would be bad enough that it wouldn't just heal up.

"C'mon!" I challenged, off to a running start as I sped towards the Boomer. I jumped up to deliver a kick to its chin, and the next few seconds seemed to happen in slow motion.

My kick missed, but not for lack of good aim; the Boomer simply dodged it, stepping backwards. I started to land on my feet, already about to go on the offensive again, when it happened. The Boomer jumped forward, only inches from me, then drew back its arm, and out of the back of its clenched fist popped a lasersword.

And all of this was while I was still recovering from my missed kick.

I didn't have a chance to even start dodging it. The lasersword came forward, and then I felt the sharp pain ram into my stomach, instantly setting my lungs on fire. I felt the metallic-tasting fluid burst forward from my mouth, and the energy dissipate rapidly from my body. After what seemed like an eternity, I drew in a sharp breath, the pain excruciating enough to have made me scream if I was able to. It felt like the sword was shoved clear up into my lungs, shoved in at such an angle that the Boomer could have lifted me up.

"D…d…d-damn…" I mumbled, blood filling my mouth. The only thing holding me on my feet was, incidentally, the Boomer's sword in my gut.

"Is this your end, I wonder?" the Boomer asked, withdrawing the sword. I started to fall to my feet, but it grabbed me by my shoulders and held me up. I could let out little more than a groan when it started squeezing my shoulders, threatening to shove them into my ribs.

I was barely conscious by now; I could see my own blood coating the stomach armor, running down my legs, a red pool underneath me small, but growing. Over the comm I thought I heard Linna and Nene screaming my name, asking if I was alright, but I couldn't answer. This wasn't my end…it couldn't be. I wouldn't let it be!

_I'm not dead…I won't die…I can't die… They need…me…,_ I thought. "You won't…k…kill m-me…" I managed to croak weakly. "I'll…g-get…you…first…"

The Boomer actually laughed out loud. "You're not dead yet, but you're on your way! And how do you expect to kill me in your condition?"

"N…not today I won't…but…but later," I swore.

"I won't kill you, yet. Someone has a mind to talk with you first. It's only a brief delay, however. Think of it as being in misery for a few minutes longer."

"Talk…? Who wo…" I started to ask.

I got my answer shortly thereafter. I heard the sound of tires rolling up the street and coming to a halt, followed by the sound of several car doors opening and closing.

"Let's greet her," the Boomer said, spinning me around so I was facing out. I gagged in a feeble attempt to yell in pain, instead spitting out some of my own blood.

From the car, a figure in black approached me, accompanied by several bodyguards, and judging by their size, it was easy to assume they were Boomers in human guise. The figure stopped in front of me and looked me over. It was clad in a black outfit that resembled a ninja's outfit, complete with the headcover and the bit of fabric covering the nose and mouth. The eyes told me that this figure was a woman.

"I…k-know you…" I coughed.

"I figured you would," she agreed, pulling down the cloth covering her face.

Katherine Madigan.

"Some outfit there," I said, managing a weak smirk.

"All for secrecy. You should know that. And you know why I've come to have a little chat with you."

"I…" I let out a cough. "I don't…"

She frowned and crossed her arms, leaning in close to me. "Yes you do. I want you to tell me the whereabouts of the purple Knight Saber."

_Ambushing me just to try to get me to tell 'em where Yume is? They're desperate…or just don't wanna do it the hard way,_ I thought, blinking several times as my vision started to blur. I could feel myself fading into unconsciousness, but sheer willpower kept me from doing so.

"Safe from you… That's w…where she is," I spat.

"When you attempt to run and hide from Genom, you're never safe. Yumeko Asagiri has been quite the thorn in our side, not that the rest of you haven't been. But it's obvious that having her in your group has revitalized you. And what's going to happen when you're too old to fight? Is she going to take us on all by herself?"

I sucked in a breath, sharp pain shooting through my stomach and lungs at the movement. I gritted my teeth and declared, "I'll be damned…if I let her get dragged into…into this anymore. She is my daughter, and she's…b-been to hell and back because of you bastards. I'm fighting…for both of us, and if you want to get to her, you'll…you'll…have to go through me first."

"My thoughts exactly. Which is why we're here right now." She motioned at the Boomer who was holding me captive, and suddenly I felt my arms get shoved into my sides. I screamed in pain as practically every bone in my torso felt like they were threatening to break. "Tell me where she is, Priss."

"Fuck you!" I screamed, coughing up more blood as the Boomer continued to crush me.

"We could just crush you right now. You know that. And then we would just have to find some other way to find your precious daughter. But I'd much rather hear it straight from the horse's mouth." Her expression was cold, hardly a hint of a smile tracing her lips. I would've spat some of my blood onto that pasty face of hers, but she was far enough away that she was out of reach, even though she was only standing a few feet from me.

"Go to hell. We could be here all night, and you still wouldn't—" I let out another scream as the Boomer squeezed even harder. "S-still…wouldn't…get it outta me…"

"Yes, we could. But we could still try to coerce it out of your other Saber friends. I know at least one of them would be willing to talk if threatened with imminent death."

"We face that every time we…we come out to fight. Ain't…ain't gonna work."

"You'd be surprised. Many people want to die, yet decide they really want to live instead once they see what death is like."

"Never said we wanted to die. Just that…that we're willing to give our lives."

"I know. Just like your daughter's friend was willing." She smirked. "Not the most willing, perhaps, but she did die protecting her friend."

Mentioning Michiko only further incensed me. "You…sent out Boh, made him kill Michiko…"

"I didn't make him kill that girl. He had orders to eliminate anyone who got in the way of his mission. She was in the way of that mission."

"You took away my daughter's best friend… You…you don't care about anyone but…" My voice left me before I could finish; I couldn't hold out anymore. I could feel my body weakening rapidly.

Madigan noticed. She walked up to me and cupped my chin in one hand and lifted my head up so she could look at me. "You believe I'm a cold-hearted bitch, don't you, Priss? And what were you going to say? That I don't care about anyone but myself? That's not entirely true. I care about the Genom corporation, and I care about finishing what chairman Quincy started, or rather, refused to finish."

I moved my leg to try to kick her, being one of the only things I could do, but they felt so heavy, so weak… I could barely even lift them.

"I'll show you how merciful I can be, Priss. I'll let your friend over there come and attempt to save your life after we leave."

"W…what…?"

She motioned towards a nearby alleyway. I didn't see anything or anybody in there, but the Boomer holding me captive took care of that. It fired its mouth cannon into the alley, and after the ensuing explosion took out a good chunk of brick wall in said alley, a red-and-pink hardsuited girl emerged, screaming.

"There she is," Madigan said, smirking as she turned and looked at Nene.

"Hey!" Nene yelled, screeching to a halt a short distance from us, visibly shaken. "You…you better let her go!" She aimed her laser gun at Madigan.

"You want her?" the Boomer asked, lifting me up. "Here." I found myself briefly airborne as it threw me in Nene's direction. She ran to catch me, falling to the asphalt with a thud when she did. I hacked up more blood, the pressure from the catch forcing it up my throat.

"She's lost a good deal of her volume," Madigan reminded her, still smirking. "Good luck getting medical aid to her in time. At this point, death would be a blessing."

"Oh God, oh God…" Nene mumbled, looking down at me. "Priss, it'll be ok. Hang in there, ok? The others are on their way."

"We'll see." Madigan and her bodyguards climbed into their car and sped away. The Boomer, on the other hand, stayed for another moment. It walked right up to us, looking down whatever nose it had at us.

"What're you gonna do?" Nene asked, trying to mask the fear in her voice. She held me tighter, as if to protect me. I grimaced in pain, too weak at the moment to get anything out of my mouth besides another small stream of blood.

"Nothing," it said. "If your friend dies, fine. If she lives, I'll just get to play with her again soon, as well as the rest of you. You'll all end up like her, I assure you."

"I don't think so! You'll be the one watching your back!"

"You think you can stand up to me? This wench here couldn't even do that," it spat, nudging me with its foot. I groaned in pain. "I'd like to see you try. But another time." The Boomer leapt onto a nearby roof, and before I knew it, it was gone.

"This sucks…" I managed to cough out, chuckling.

"Priss, don't talk. Don't talk," she pleaded. "Save your strength."

"Shut up, Nene."

"What did I just say? Just try to stay with me here!" She held me tighter, as if that would keep me awake somehow.

"Stop…s…stop…worryin'," I moaned. "I'm…I'm…not go…gonna die…"

"We'll make sure you won't!"

"No, I know I'm…n…not. I s…s…still got…stuff to…to do…" I sucked in a breath, which revived that shooting pain in my lungs. I hardly cared about that by now though.

Nene lifted up her visor. I could see tears running down her cheeks. "Priss…just stay still. Don't talk. They'll be here any second."

"Don't…don't do that. No…crying. It'll…be ok..."

I closed my eyes, feeling myself sinking further and further into the black pit of unconsciousness. I heard Nene's voice, pleading with me to come back, and just before everything went black, I thought I heard Linna and Sylia's voices as well. But, all sounds were just murmurs when I finally did black out, so I wasn't sure if I had really heard them, or if it was just my imagination playing tricks on me.

-----

My eyelids felt as heavy as lead when I tried to open them. Hell, my whole body felt that way, and for a few minutes after I became aware of myself again, I had no idea why. I couldn't remember the last thing I'd done. A fight…I remembered there was a fight…and then Madigan's face before mine…but was that a dream? Truly I couldn't have come face-to-face with that damned woman.

By now, I was aware that I'd sustained some pretty bad injuries, most notably the one to my stomach. Every breath sent a searing pain up my chest and into my lungs. Even when I tried to take as shallow a breath as possible, the pain didn't lessen at all. How the hell had I…?

I drew in a sharp gasp as the memories came flooding back into my mind; a Boomer had ambushed me. It stabbed me, tortured me, more or less beat the living shit out of me. And Madigan…I HAD seen her in person. I remembered the sound of crying as Nene begged me to just shut up and save my strength.

That gasp made the pain shoot up into my lungs even harder than before; it made me let out another gasp, then a strangled yell.

"Easy…" I heard a gentle voice say. I opened my eyes and looked to my right when I felt someone put their hand on top of mine.

"L…Linna…" I coughed.

"Nice to see you're finally awake. Definitely gave everybody a scare there. Nene was so freaked out that Sylia actually mulled giving her Haldol for a moment."

"She always…gets worried over little shit."

Linna's jaw almost dropped, but she managed to stop it from doing so. She gave me a look and shook her head. "Little? Hardly. Do you know how close you came to dying on us?"

"Close enough?"

"…Yeah, close enough. I'll leave it at that."

"How long've I been here?"

"Two days. Sylia decided to keep you sedated until this morning so your body would have a little time to start healing."

"How bad did I get 'seppukued'?" I asked, my voice hoarse with the effort to talk.

Linna raised an eyebrow at my term of choice. "Sylia says you were lucky. The sword missed the major organs, but the edge did nick your lungs, which is why you're on oxygen."

I fingered the oxygen tube that was strung across my face, wrinkling my nose at the feel of the two prongs going partway up my nostrils. "That'd explain why…why it's hard to breathe."

"Even without hitting anything major, you still almost bled out. You were VERY lucky this time." She looked away. "I'm saying 'this' time because knowing you, you're going to raise hell as soon as you're recovered."

"Is it that obvious?" I quipped, grinning, then letting out a cough. "Ow… Well, Madigan wants to know where Yume is…and I wouldn't tell her. Goin' through all that was worth it."

"I know…" She wiped away a tear. "It just sickens me that…that they're doing all this just to get their hands on a teenager who's still fairly new to this game."

"Young energy…that's what Madigan said. She…she said…it was obvious that having her in our group had energized us. That's part of why…she's going after her."

"I'm sure Yumeko invading Genom Tower has something to do with it too," Linna added somewhat dryly. "You know…she's going to want to know what happened."

I shook my head, gritting my teeth as my stomach wound started to throb. "N-no…I don't want her to know."

"W…why not?" She looked surprised.

"You know her! She's…she's just gonna blame this on herself, and…and she'll…j-just wanna come home."

"She's already blaming a lot of things on herself, and she already wants to come home, very badly," she pointed out. "Although…I'm sure knowing about this latest incident wouldn't help."

"Tell Nene not to…not to tell Yume anything about this, ok?" I asked. "Let her…live her life for now."

Linna nodded. "Ok. I'll tell her. But I don't know what kind of life, if any, she's living over there."

"I don't want her to worry about me…that's all…"

"I know, Priss. I know."

-----

Between school, my tai chi lessons, and training, I barely had time for anything else. I didn't mind though; I'd filled up all of my spare time partly on purpose. It kept my mind occupied, kept me from hitting any major lows…or major highs, for that matter, unless I included my occasional dipping into my bottle of hydromorphone. I knew better than to take that stuff every day; I didn't want to get myself addicted like I'd almost done after the summit battle. And yet…the high I got from it was unlike anything else…

Damn. I knew I had to stop thinking that way. The only thing that could get me TRULY 'high' was the thrill of gymnastics, the thought of having an Olympic gold medal placed around my neck. That was one of the few things keeping me going now. Now that Sara was out of the hospital and donning a new pair of legs, I had one less thing to worry about.

But damned if something else didn't come up soon afterwards.

The fifth of March.

I woke up that morning, my body feeling heavy. I managed to drag myself out of bed and throw on some clothes, but I didn't take my morning jog; I wasn't up to it. I wasn't up to doing anything at all. My plan for the day was to just lock myself in my room and be alone with my own thoughts. I popped one of Mom's CDs into the stereo and put her song _Itoshiki Rival_ on repeat. After turning the volume up on it, I grabbed a piece of paper, an envelope, and a pen, and started writing a letter that nobody else but my best friend would ever see.

_Odoru tokai wa kawaita savannah (The dancing city is a dry savannah)_

_nakama no mure hagurete hitori. (in which, alone, I lost sight of my group of friends.)_

_Kizu o otte mo tachidomaranaide (Even if I get hurt, without stopping,)_

_hokori ni omou anata de ite yo. (I take pride in having you here.)_

_Micchan,_

_Today is your eighteenth birthday. How funny that I'm only remembering it now, when you're not here to celebrate it. I remember last year, when you came over to my place so I could go shopping with you, and how you made fun of me for never being able to remember your birthday. You bought Mom's latest album. I'll never forget how your face lit up when you took it in your hands and said that you just couldn't wait to buy it, and you did just that, now that you had the money._

_Awai seishun no hibi (Day by day, sentimental youth)_

_hitotsu no koi (contend for a first love,)_

_hariatta ne suteki na rival yo anata wa. (and you are a wonderful rival to contend with.)_

_As I write this I'm listening to your favorite song of Mom's, "Itoshiki Rival." Although you said you loved all of her songs, this one remained your favorite; it was your favorite when I first met you, and it remained your favorite for the rest of your life. I never knew if it was the lyrics that attracted you to it, or the general rhythm, but I do admit it does kinda have a unique sound to it, compared to some of her other songs._

_Furimukazu ni hashitteite (Running without looking back,)_

_kaze o kirisaite (I cut into the wind,)_

_chikaiatta ano hi no yume (making a vow that I would surely)_

_kitto tsukamaete. (seize the dream I had that day.)_

_I remember how, after the summit attack, you lent me your unwavering support during my physical therapy sessions, and during my struggle to learn to walk again. I remember the look on your face when you saw me without the leg brace for the first time, after Nationals. I also remember your reaction when you figured out that I was a Knight Saber. You cried…and in the same breath as that cry, you swore that you would always support me, no matter what I did. You'll never know how much that meant to me. It still means a lot to me, even now._

_Tooi goal ni tadoritsuku made ni (By the time people reach their distant goal,)_

_hito wa doredake itami o shiru no. (how much pain will they have come to know?)_

_Tabi no omosa ni kujike-soo na yoru (At night, when the weight of the journey has me feeling down,)_

_anata no egao itsumo omoidasu. (I always remember your smiling face.)_

_Micchan…I miss you so much, but I guess you already know that. I love you like I will never love another friend. There's a place in my heart that will always be reserved for you. You made the ultimate sacrifice for me, and I know that I will never be able to pay you back in kind for that. But I know that you wouldn't ask me to do that anyway. You'd say, "It's no problem, Yucchan. Friends do that sort of thing for one another, right?" Yeah…you're right. But my heart still aches, knowing you're gone._

_Kumo ni tokeru yuuhi o mitsumeteta (As I watched the setting sun dissolve into the clouds,)_

_ano hi no yoo ni (with burning eyes I wanted to relate to tomorrow)_

_atsui me de asu o kataritai. (as if it were that day.)_

_Am I selfish for wanting you back? I don't think so, but Irodia says that you're probably up there because "heaven was missing an angel." She means well, but…but what she has to say doesn't help take away this guilt I have. I feel guilty…for not being able to protect you. I'm so sorry…although I know you wouldn't want me to be. But I can't help but feel this way. No matter what anyone else tells me, I'll feel the way I'm going to feel._

_Naite nanka irarenai ne (Refusing to cry,)_

_motto tsuyoku naru… (I will become stronger…)_

_Itsu no hi ni ka (Someday, by standing up tall,)_

_mune o hatte anata ni ai ni yuku yo. (I will head off to meet with you.)_

_Until the day we see each other again, I'll keep you alive in my memories, my photo album, my heart…everywhere. I'll try to live my life so that your sacrifice will be worth it. It's hard, trying to get on with my life without you here, but…you'd want me to. And I'll try my best._

_Yucchan_

I folded the letter into thirds, then slipped it into an envelope and sealed it. I wrote Michiko's name on the front of the envelope, then set it down on the desk in front of the picture of her and me that I had sitting there. I gingerly touched the dried cherry blossom branch that sat nearby, smiling when I remembered her giving it to Mom for her birthday the previous May. I'd dared her to call Mom 'Sakura,' a common name meaning 'cherry blossom.' The comment had even amused Nene and Linna.

"Can't I relive those days?" I whispered to myself, flopping down on my bed as _Itoshiki Rival_ went on repeat. Even after the summit, the days that I had thought would be my darkest, Michiko had been there. She helped make everything just a little bit brighter. And now, being in Cali, supposedly recovered and not having to fight Boomers, my darkest days were supposed to be behind me. But Michiko wasn't here. That alone made these days the darkest I'd ever had. I'd have gladly relived those first few months after the summit, relive all of that physical therapy hell, if only to have Michiko by my side again. But what I wanted even more was to have my pre-Knight Saber days back, back when I was a normal kid, back when my biggest worries were about homework and paparazzi, not Boomers and Genom! Back when Michiko wasn't anywhere near the line of fire…back when none of us were…

I fell asleep, exhausted by those thoughts, and when I woke up, the song was still on repeat; God knew how many times it had played by now. I heard a banging on my door, followed by a voice pleading, "Rocío, PLEASE turn that song off! I've been listening to it all day!"

"I'm taking a personal day, Irodia!" I yelled through the door. "Live with it!"

"If you're going to listen to it, at least turn down the volume!"

I mumbled under my breath and walked over to the stereo. Instead of turning down the volume, I cranked it up. Through the noise, I could barely hear Irodia spitting out some words in Russian that I was thankful for not knowing the meanings of, then her yelling, "I said DOWN!"

"I'm NOT someone to be screwing with today," I growled. "I'm letting everyone know it."

I was doubtful she could hear me, but my meaning got across all the same. I heard nothing more from her.

-----

Long after I turned off the stereo and headed over to the park that Irodia and me and the others went to after church every Sunday, I could still hear that song playing in my head. It was playing on the brink of annoyance, but it was Michiko's favorite song, so I didn't mind as much as I would have if it had been another song.

I went to the top of the tallest hill in the park and looked out over the horizon, a slight breeze making my hair tickle my cheeks. As luck would have it, the wind was blowing west…in the direction of Tokyo. I reached into the pocket of my jacket and took out a tiny pouch, dumping the contents into my hand. It was ashes, the ashes of the letter I'd written that morning. After writing it, I'd taken it, along with several dried leaves from the cherry blossom branch, and burned them together in an incense holder. It was the only way to ensure that nobody else would ever see the contents of it, but even so I knew that Michiko would know what I had written.

I cupped my hands together so that the ashes were held in both of them, making sure the wind didn't blow them away. I looked up at the sky and offered a Buddhist prayer:

"May all things be filled with joy and peace. May all beings everywhere, the strong and the weak, the great and the small, the mean and the powerful, the short and the long, the subtle and the gross."

I took a breath and spoke louder, more powerfully. "May all beings everywhere, seen and unseen, dwelling far off or nearby, being or waiting to become: may all be filled with lasting joy. Let no one deceive another, let no one anywhere despise another, let no one out of anger or resentment wish suffering on anyone at all. Just as a mother with her own life protects her child, her only child, from harm, so within yourself let grow a boundless love for all creatures."

I brought my closed hands in towards my chest, putting them over my heart, my voice softening as emotions threatened to overpower me. "Let your love flow outward through the universe, to its height, its depth, its broad extent, a limitless love, without hatred or enmity…"

Stopping, I took a deep breath, trying to keep myself composed. This was a peace prayer, and it saying to love everyone, to not hold any grudges…would I be able to do that? Could I not hate Boh, and Quincy, and Madigan, not hate them for what they had done to my life? For what they had done to my mom, my friends?

Yeah right.

It was too much to ask, just too much, at least at the moment. Maybe sometime, but not now.

My face hardening in determination, I lifted my head up and tossed my hands up, letting the wind take the ashes and carry them away. They swirled in the wind, carried higher up and further away into the clouds, into the horizon, until I could no longer see them. Yet, I could still smell them, and it was not my imagination tricking me; residue still remained on my hands. I took in the scent that lingered on them, then closed my eyes and mumbled the last of the prayer:

"Then as you stand or walk, sit or lie down, as long as you are awake, strive for this with a one-pointed mind; your life will bring heaven to earth."

The prayer done, I mixed in a little Shinto custom: I clapped my hands together twice and bowed my head. I knew this prayer, as well as the letter and the cherry blossom leaves, would reach her. I just wished I knew how she would let me know she'd received them.


	4. March 16th, again

I hadn't been down to this area of town in a long time…not since we Sabers were given a job to safeguard this area. Across the street from where I stood, the lot where the convention center used to stand was buzzing with life, construction Boomers were hard at work, hoisting up steel beams and whatnot. How very fucking ironic – Boomers blew up the original one, and Boomers would be the ones to rebuild it. I shook my head in disbelief.

"May I ask why we've been standing here for the past half-hour?" Nene asked, shivering in her coat.

"Reminiscing," I replied dryly.

"We can do that without standing across the street from where it all went down."

"Haven't been down here since it happened. Figured I'd see what it looked like now."

"Me either…" she concurred, her voice almost a whisper.

We stood there quietly for the next few minutes, no words exchanged as our eyes stayed focused on the Boomers doing their work. I winced and put a hand to my stomach when a brief flash of pain made itself known, but I managed to keep it discreet enough that Nene didn't notice. A month since my near-fatal encounter with Madigan's Boomer, and Madigan herself. My wound was healing slowly, definitely slower than I would've liked, but as long as I walked slowly and didn't make any sudden moves, it didn't bother me.

"I should mention something, as long as we're here," she suddenly said, making sure to keep her voice low.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Sylia's decided to switch tactics. We're not gonna be focusing on Defense Minister Callahan's disappearance anymore."

"Why not?"

"It's been over twenty years since he vanished. It's sort of old news, I hate to say. But there IS something we can focus on uncovering that's a lot fresher in people's minds." She swallowed hard. "And much bigger than the disappearance of one man."

"The summit?" I offered with no hesitation.

She nodded. "If we can expose Quincy's plot to frame us – or kill us, depending on how you look at it – we could help put the nail in Genom's coffin. It's also a well-known fact that most of the world leaders supported phasing out Boomers. It would be obvious that Quincy wouldn't be happy if they decided to reach that decision, so…"

"He decided to just kill them? And pin it on us? Why not just bribe them to look the other way?" I was incredulous.

"It's possible that he tried to and they didn't fall for it. The other theory is that he figured he could just make things simple and take care of everything at once."

I frowned and scratched my chin in thought, my breath visible in puffs in front of me as I exhaled. "Who organized the summit to begin with?"

"It was a collective decision made by the UN. And supposedly it was decided to hold it in Tokyo because it's the birthplace of Boomers; it'd be appropriate to do it here, I guess." She looked at me and interrupted before I could add my opinion. "But most of this is just speculation. I need to find hard evidence that I can shove in the UN's face. It's gonna be real hard though."

"Why? I know we're not the only ones who wanna see Genom bury themselves."

"Priss, I know that! But it's not as simple as just…just shutting down Genom! It's just not possible! Genom makes a lot more than just Boomers. They make the majority of the world's cars, and their research team is making medical breakthroughs all the time, and…"

"I know all that!" I snapped, wincing when my stomach wound acted up. "I'm just wondering why that can't all be diverted to other, smaller companies!"

"That would require…a LOT of time and effort, and a LOT of people to put that in. I just…don't think that's possible. Genom's been around for a long time; it can't just be shut down. If it did, the world could very well experience another Great Depression. You know how many jobs would be eliminated, how much the price of cars and lots of other things would get jacked up? Besides, Sylia says we Knight Sabers are just the ones canceling out the bad they do. We can't cancel out the good as well. We can't shut down Genom…but if we can expose the truth behind the summit attack, then…then maybe they won't be able to do any bad anymore…"

I sighed and stuffed my hands into my coat pockets. "Wishful thinking, Nene. But…I guess that's not a bad thing to have. I'm no hacker, but…anything I can do to help dig up that dirt?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "Do nothing. Just focus on recovering. If something happens, we'll definitely need all the Sabers."

"Yume too?"

Her smile weakened, but she nodded anyway. "Yeah. Yumeko too. At least, I hope so. This is her fight too."

-----

"You've sure been actin' funny the past couple days," Xania pointed out as we left the school parking lot. It'd been several days since my lone celebration of Michiko's birthday, and with another certain anniversary coming up, my mind was all over the place. Kenneth had picked up on it during my tai chi lessons too; he'd been able to shove me over easily, whereas if I'd been focused, it should have been impossible.

"So what?" I asked. "I've had a lot on my mind."

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, it was Michiko's birthday a few days ago…"

She sighed. "Shit. No wonder you were ditchin' school that day. Why didntcha tell me?"

"I didn't want anyone around me that day. Just…wanted to celebrate by myself."

"Rosho, you're so damn stubborn, I…grr," she growled.

"Speak for yourself. You haven't talked to me about your parents or anything like that, but then again, I promised not to ask," I retorted.

"That's different. This is your friend we're talkin' about! You coulda at least let me know what your plans were, or I wouldn't have sat outside for a good hour wonderin' where you were."

"Ok," I sighed, turning onto Irodia's street. "Next time I ditch, I'll at least let ya know."

"Next time you ditch, ya better let me ditch with ya," she corrected, laughing. That comment actually got a small laugh out of me as well.

"…All right, we'll see."

After arriving back at Irodia's place, we were quick to notice there was no one else home. Probably for the best…it was easier to get studying done without Irodia harping at me every fifteen minutes. Xania flopped down on the couch and pulled out her books while I went into the kitchen to grab a snack. When I went to open the fridge, I saw a note posted on it.

"That explains it," I said aloud, reading the note.

"Explains what?" Xania asked, digging in her backpack for a pencil.

"Irodia left a note saying she took Mikhaila to the dentist for a checkup."

"Dentists, hate 'em." She zipped her backpack shut. "Damn, I can't find anythin' to write with."

"I have some pencils in my desk if you need one," I offered, pointing in the direction of my room.

"Ok, thanks."

Munching on an apple I snatched out of the fridge, I did what Xania did and pulled out my textbooks. I opened up the history book and turned to the chapter on the Polar War, groaning. Wars, wars…was there ever a chapter in this book that didn't mention a war going on somewhere in the world? I took out a piece of paper and started to read, taking notes as I went along. Truth be told, I'd had this assignment for the past week, but now that there was a test on it tomorrow, I figured I should at least TRY to read it.

Half an hour and only five pages later, I decided I'd had enough of trying to read it. I slammed the book shut and moved on to my English book. Then, I looked up and realized Xania's stuff was exactly where she'd left it. She hadn't come back from my room.

"Xania, it doesn't take that long to find one pencil," I called, standing up. "What's keeping ya?"

When I got no answer, I raised an eyebrow; what was she doing? Surely she didn't fall asleep. I stood up and walked to my room, thinking I'd see her trashing my room trying to look for one pencil. But that wasn't what I saw. In fact, I wish I had seen that instead of what I did see.

Xania was indeed still in my room, but she was sitting at my desk, viewing something on the vidletter player. I felt my knees go weak, and the blood drain from my face. I grabbed onto the door frame. "Xania, what…are you…?" I stammered.

She turned around to look at me, her eyes wide. "Rosho, didn't know you knew Priss Asagiri from the Replicants." She smiled innocently. "A personal reply to a fan letter, how 'bout that?"

I fell on my butt right there. "What? A, a…" I laughed. "Ummm…yeeeeeah! I…I sent a f-fan letter to her a while ago. Never thought she'd send me a personal reply!"

"Too bad she's talkin' in Japanese. Can't understand a damn word she's sayin'. Can you, Rosho?"

"I…not really," I lied, my voice a full octave higher than normal. "Irodia is…teaching me Japanese, and she…thought I should write to her to get some practice."

"And these other people too?" She held up a handful of vidletters. "I found a bunch of these in the desk drawer. I dunno Japanese, but I didn't hear them say 'Rocío-san' or anything like that. One word they said a lot though was 'Yume' or 'Yumeko.' That a nickname?"

"Um…" I knew I was dead pale by now; how was I gonna get out of this? Now would've been a good time for those acting lessons to kick in. "Y…yeah. A nickname."

"One other question, Rosho. One of 'em has this couple talkin', and they're cryin', and I did hear them say 'Michiko' this, and 'Michiko' that. How do they know about your friend?"

"They're her parents," I mumbled.

"Huh?" She leaned closer. "Couldn't hear ya."

"They're her parents, Xania. That's how they know about her. That's why they were crying."

"But they're speakin' Japanese! Last time I checked, they didn't speak Japanese in Mexico." She sat on the carpet, where I had yet to pick myself up from. "What's goin' on, Rosho?"

I tried in vain to swallow the lump that had settled in my throat. Damn, this bore more than a few similarities to when Michiko had asked if I was a Knight Saber. This time though, I wasn't being asked if I was a Saber…but it was still hard. "It's…a long story, Xania. Thing is, though, I don't think you'd believe me even if I did tell you the truth. It's pretty out there."

"I've seen a lot o' pretty far-out things. Try me out."

I took a breath. "I'm not…Mexican. Heck, I've never spent more than a few days in Mexico in my life. Only reason I know enough Spanish to be able to talk with Sara is because I've done a lot of traveling. When you're young and travel with your mom, you're bound to pick up basic phrases in other languages.

"I wasn't born in Mexico. I don't even know if I have any Mexican blood in me, because I don't even know who my father is. And I don't care. I was the result of an attack on my mom, and despite that, she loves me with all her heart. She'd die for me…"

"So if your dad didn't beat you up…then who? Your mom all along?" she asked.

"No."

"Then who?"

"I'm getting to that," I snapped, swallowing deeply. "My…my name is not really Rocío Monterrey. That's just an alias I'm going by while I'm in the States. My real name is…is Yumeko Asagiri. I'm Priss Asagiri's daughter."

"Whoa…" she gasped. "I THOUGHT your eyes looked alike, but damn…that explains it. So…why are you here? Why arentcha in Japan?" She looked like she was still in shock, still trying to absorb what I was throwing at her. I didn't blame her though.

"I'm here for my own safety. I'm…on the run from Genom. They want to kill me. And the reason for that is…" I took another breath and leaned against the wall, sweeping my bangs out of my face. I could feel the palms of my hands starting to sweat. "I'm…I'm a Knight Saber! That's why they're after me! And that's why I have all of the scars that you've seen and asked about! I fight Boomers, and I don't even know how many times I've almost gotten myself killed. I didn't bother to keep count. But…it's a noble thing I do…and even more noble that my mom sent me here. She said she's gonna fight for the both of us…"

"S…SHE'S a Saber too?" Xania exclaimed, her eyes practically bugging out of her head. Her tail flipped back and forth almost rabidly. "You're fuckin' kidding me!"

"Bear with me here," I warned, my jaw clenched. "I'm not telling you this 'cause I want to."

"So she was a Saber even back in the '30's when—"

"Yes."

"Wow…"

"Just LISTEN, ok? I…" I could feel my voice choke up. "I haven't told anybody here. Besides you, only Irodia knows. I'd rather keep it that way."

"Ok…" she said softly, nodding. "I can keep a secret, believe it or not. But can I ask ya something else?"

"Sure."

"It's about your friend…is it true she's dead?"

"Y…yeah…she died to protect me. There was a Boomer that Genom sent out to study me and kill me. Michiko got in the way, and…he stabbed her…then shortly after, he stabbed me…"

A hand flew to her mouth. "Oh shit…y'mean those wounds you had when you first came here… I knew those were stab wounds, but…I thought your dad did it. But a Boomer did?"

"Yes. And do you remember the summit thing last year?"

"O' course. The papers and the news wouldn't stop talkin' about it."

"That's where…where I got shot in the leg, and cut across the stomach…"

"Fuck…" I could hear her voice get choked up. "I…wow, damn…I didn't think one person could go through all that. I'll admit I DID think it was a bit, um, outlandish, for lack of a better word, for your dad to have done all that. But Boomers…I can actually buy that."

"I'm not making this up, Xania."

"I never said you were." She took off her shades and wiped them off on her shirt. "I…just can't imagine any sane girl wanting to do that kind of shit. Fighting Boomers? Like hell!"

"I was offered a job with them a year and a half ago. Been with them ever since."

"I'd ask if the three gals on the other vidletters are the other Sabers too, but…but I won't. The redhead gal looks a lot like Irodia though."

"That's Nene. They're cousins. She, the Saber leader, and Irodia all agreed to have me live here for a while, until everything dies down."

"When's it gonna die down though?"

I shook my head solemnly. "I have no idea… I wish I knew."

She shook her head, mumbling to herself. I just sighed and looked at her. She was taking this better than Michiko did, at least on the outside. Whatever was going on on the inside, I had no clue. When she hid her emotions, she hid them well. When they showed up, however…it was hard to miss.

I stood up. "We should get back to studying. I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"Why not? I'm willin' to listen," she protested, jumping to her feet as she followed me back out to the living room.

"I know you are. I'm just wondering if you're not getting some kind of sexual thrill from all this."

She laughed. "Sexual thrill? Rosho, I get no pleasure from hearin' about other people's pain unless those other people happen to be my exes. 'Sides, it's not every day you realized a bud of yours is an ex-Knight Saber."

"I'm NOT an ex-Knight Saber," I fired. "I'm just on a leave of sorts."

"Ok, ok." She cracked open one of her books while I went back to the homework I'd abandoned a few minutes earlier. I found it hard to concentrate though, not because of what I'd just divulged, but because I could feel a pair of eyes staring at me when they should have been directed elsewhere.

"What?" I demanded.

"Just tryin' to picture you fightin' Boomers," she said wistfully, propping an elbow up on the table. She leaned her head against her hand. "Problem with that?"

"Picture it all you want, but at least stop staring at me." I raised an eyebrow. "How can you picture me fighting Boomers anyway? You've never seen a combat model."

"That's why I said TRYIN' to. Sure, I've never seen 'em in person, but I've seen pictures."

"And pictures are all you need," I quipped, unconsciously nibbling on the end of my pencil. Xania just smirked.

"They help." She chuckled. "What's with you and all the sexual undertones, hmm? Hard-up?"

"Yeah right. You're the nympho, not me, that's why I'm alluding to that."

"Never seen a nympho go four months without sex though, have ya?"

I stared, almost dropping my pencil. "Four months? But you and Greg…"

"I TOLD you. We broke up. We're still friends, but that doesn't mean we're sleepin' together anymore. The last time I got any was that day we went to that one place to buy your gun."

"You mean with Juan?"

"Yeah."

"I thought…you would've snagged another guy by now," I mused quietly.

"No one's caught my eye. And 'sides…" She shrugged. "A break now and then isn't so bad. If your whole life revolves around sex and you're not getting any, what point is there to living? I'm not sayin' my life revolves around it. I enjoy sex, a lot. But there's other stuff 'sides that. That's why I respect your wanting to wait for the right guy to come along, although I give ya shit about it."

"You do?"

She nodded. "No point in losing your virginity just for the sake o' losin' it. If it's with the wrong guy it's not gonna be the special event it's supposed to be. But if you're with the right guy…it doesn't matter if you're 15 or 45, it's gonna be special. Magical. All the romance novels in the world ain't gonna prepare you for the real thing."

"I don't read romance novels," I pointed out, grimacing.

"My point still stands. Even if I told you about MY first time, it wouldn't help prepare you for YOURS, 'cause everyone's first is different."

"You're acting like I'd go around and ask everybody. I wouldn't." HOW did the conversation take this turn, anyway?

She laughed. "Even I wouldn't do that! But y'know what? Before my first, sure, I wondered what it would be like. I even figured that I wasn't missin' anything, 'cause you hear about all these teens who get preggers and everythin'. But damn, once I learned first-hand what it was like, I didn't know how I lived without that feeling." She shook her head and turned serious again, trying to bring herself out of la-la land. "I KNOW you must be curious too."

"…Sorta," I admitted. "But that thing with Rob kinda…killed my curiosity." I fidgeted and looked down at my hands in my lap.

"I know you ain't gonna run away to a nunnery when school's done. I don't wantcha to die a virgin, but hell, even though I try to hook ya up with certain guys, I wouldn't wantcha to rush into anything."

I finally managed a smile. "Thanks, Xania. You know, you really are mature, when you want to be."

"It's fun to brag about who your latest lay was, but if you haven't started on that road yet, I don't want ya to get onto it full throttle." Her smile faded somewhat. "I'm gonna be nineteen next month, Rosho. I…feel old."

"I'm seventeen, and I feel old too. You know about me already, so…do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she said firmly, color draining from her face. Shaking her head, she added, "I…don't wanna get into that. Maybe later, when…I'm ready."

"Why do you still call me Rosho? You know that's not my name."

"'Cause if I started callin' ya Yumeko, you KNOW I'd slip up and call you that in public by mistake sometime. Easier on me AND you if I just keep callin' ya Rosho." She managed a weak smirk.

"Well…makes sense," I agreed, nodding. I scooted over next to her and gave her a big hug. "Xania, thanks for…for listening to me, and believing me."

She hugged me back, tossing off her shades as her eyes started to get a bit misty. "Woulda been one hell of a grain of salt to take it with, right?"

"Yeah…"

Xania surprised me with what she did next. I felt her give me a small peck on the cheek as she offered her support to me. I didn't even jump, though; in fact, I even relaxed somewhat. Michiko had occasionally given me friendly pecks on the cheek. I reached down and stroked Xania's limp tail, and felt her body relax as an audible sigh escaped from her.

_It's ok,_ I thought as we sat there and held each other for what seemed like an eternity. We were friends; it was ok to hold each other like this. I could've even fallen asleep like that if I hadn't been wide awake. _I have one friend here I can trust, one person to help me. I hope she'll let me help her too, as best I can…_

_-----_

"Priss? Would you like any coffee?"

"No, no thanks, Sylia," I said tiredly, running a hand through my bangs. I leaned back on the couch and let out a small grunt. Today was the anniversary of the summit attack; I didn't need any calendar to tell me that. I'd been counting it down ever since the month had started. The day Nene and I had gone to the site of destruction-turned-construction had been the anniversary of when the job of safeguarding the convention center had started, and now…here was the REAL anniversary.

Sitting on the other couch and chairs were Linna, Mackie, and Nene, who accepted Sylia's offer of coffee as she stifled a yawn. Looking around, it was apparent none of us had gotten any real sleep last night. Little wonder why.

"Doesn't feel like it's been a year," Nene mumbled, numbly holding her coffee in between her hands, her eyes glazed over. "I just…the memories are still right there. Everything else that's gone on since then seems irrelevant."

"I think it's safe to say we all feel the same," Linna agreed solemnly. "Except for that last part. Lots of relevant things have happened…"

"I mean in the sheer scope of it." The redhead wiped tears from her eyes and set down her coffee. "All those people…and…Yumeko…"

"Yume's fine now," I said, trying to smile, and not succeeding. "Hell, we're all still standing, aren't we?"

"Yeah, but we couldn't stop it! My sensors should have picked up on them!"

"Nene, they were built so that your sensors couldn't detect them," Sylia reminded her, sitting down next to her. "You know that."

"I know, I know…" she choked.

"You took a couple shots for me and for Yume," I interjected. "The old Nene wouldn't have done that. You oughta be lucky the worst you got was a ruptured spleen and punctured lung."

"Those Boomers were a lot stronger than any of us could have imagined," Linna said, taking her headband off, letting her hair hang in her face. "It's easy for us to see in hindsight what we could have done differently. Even so, it won't change what happened. We just have…to make the best of it."

"What about that Boomer that ambushed Priss?" Nene asked, making me wince with the memory.

"What ABOUT it?" I repeated bitterly, putting my hand over the still-tender wound when it started throbbing lightly. "Next time it shows up, I'll just have my Motoslave kick its ass."

"It's only appeared once," Sylia said. "That's not enough time to gather much information on it. Until we know what it's capable of, I suggest no rash moves." She eyed me with that glint in her eyes that told me NOT to dare disobey her.

"All right, not like I can get back into my suit yet anyway."

"It was a serious wound which will take some time to heal—"

"I KNOW!" I yelled. "You act like I've never been laid up before!"

"You do have a history of ignoring sound advice though," Mackie quipped.

"You shut up!"

"Stop yelling!" Nene begged, jumping to her feet. "Please! It'll only aggravate your injury anyway, Priss. And Mackie…" She turned to look at him. "Just don't say anything. I know you're the one who had to sit by and watch while we all got our butts handed to us, but…hey, YOU played a part in saving us, too. We wouldn't have been able to get to the hospital without you."

"Wouldn't have needed to if you and Yumeko hadn't gotten so badly hurt though," he said quietly.

"That's not our fault…"

"I know…"

"Like Priss said, we all survived," Linna interrupted, a small smile playing on her lips. "More or less intact, anyway. Over a hundred people did die, but…WE survived. And besides, you and Sylia are trying to expose the truth behind the summit, right, Nene?"

The redhead immediately perked up, spinning on her heels to face Linna with a big grin. "Yeah. Things are actually coming along pretty well, too."

"So what have you two found?" I asked as Nene sat down.

Sylia cleared her throat. "You may recall that I recovered one of the Boomer's heads from the rubble, the one that possessed the Black Box." We all nodded in remembrance. "You also recall that it had transmitters in its eyes that transferred whatever it saw back to its place of origin, i.e. Genom Tower. After further examination of said transmitters, it turns out it not only acted as a feed, but a recorder as well."

"So it still has that footage stored in there?" She nodded.

"There is no audio, only visual. The feed begins before the Boomers descended on the convention center, and ends when it enacted the particle beam satellite. It holds plenty of evidence that we were not the ones behind the attack."

Linna bit her lip. "But there's more to that than what you're telling us, right?"

"Unfortunately, yes. It does show footage of Yumeko's faceplate being broken. If we were to turn in the footage to the proper authorities, it would probably be preferred to have it be undoctored, not tampered with."

"It wouldn't be enough to just blur Yumeko's face," Nene added. "Any good hacker could undo the blurring and see her face. And we can't just use the first part of the footage, because we need to show that the Boomers were the ones to enact the satellite, not us. The footage DOES show us running away when it became apparent what was going to happen."

"Soooo…just cut out the part where her faceplate was broken," I said, shrugging.

"It would be obvious something was left out. However…" She turned to look at Sylia. "We might be able to do that. We'd just have to do some editing to make it all look smooth and not like something was VERY obviously left out."

Sylia nodded reluctantly. "We'll see what we can do."

"What else is there?" Linna asked. "Do we need more hard evidence?"

"Yes. The footage itself won't be enough. We need actual witnesses."

I exhaled and mumbled, "The world leaders who managed to survive…"

"Exactly. Assuming we'll be able to get in touch with them, of course."

"And assuming they haven't been paid off," Mackie sighed.

"Money does do a lot of talking," Sylia admitted. "Money can help unseal certain individuals' lips though, too, no matter how much they may have already been paid to keep those lips sealed."

"What makes you so sure they'd want to help us clear our name?" I asked, skeptical. "Most of them probably wouldn't give a shit what happens to us."

"Before the summit, perhaps not. But since we did save their lives – most of them, in any case – that could have changed. That's not to say they won't need coercing, of course. However, the mere fact they were debating the Boomer situation at all is enough to say that they've had enough of Genom." She brushed off her skirt. "Once we have enough solid evidence, we'll take it to the UN, and let them take it from there."

"How do we know THEY weren't paid off too?" Linna queried.

"We don't," she admitted blandly. "However, we need to at least make an effort to do this. If not, the Knight Sabers may not be around for much longer."

"There's not much time, Sylia," I said, standing up. "The Olympic trials are in two months, and Yume's gonna want—"

"I know she'll want to go. But we're not doing this on her timetable. It's on ours." Her face softened as she stood up and put a hand on my shoulder. "WE don't have that much time, either, though. We'll need to get started ASAP. Fargo and his associates have already started to make arrangements. Let's just pray that they won't fall through."

"Thanks, Sylia," I said, turning my head away. I didn't want anybody seeing the tears in my eyes, although they'd seen me cry before. It was still embarrassing.

"This isn't just for Yumeko. It's for all of us: the Knight Sabers, Tokyo…the world. But…this will be a very dangerous mission we're about to start on. It wouldn't take much for Genom to get wind of it, so we need to tread very carefully."

"We need to at least try," I asserted.

"I hope you're all prepared," Sylia declared, turning to face the others. "We leave in one week. Bear in mind we may never come back—"

"We know," Linna interrupted, getting to her feet, along with Nene and Mackie. "Every mission, there's a chance we won't come back. Nothing different about this one."

"Right," Nene agreed.

"We're with ya, Sis," Mackie said.

"Am I getting left out?" I inquired, raising an eyebrow. "Or am I free to come?"

"Priss, you're welcome to come. No suit, though." Sylia smirked.

I returned the smirk. "Fair enough. As long as I get the chance to hand Madigan her ass on a silver platter."

Nene and Linna laughed, sharing the same sentiment.

-----

Rain.

All around me, rain came pouring down, making pitter-patter noises as the drops struck the ground. I stood there, the noise hypnotizing me; it was peaceful, steady, the sound not broken even by thunder. Even if I couldn't hear it, I could still feel it in my heart, and I knew there was no way to stop that feeling.

It was raining, and yet I wasn't wet at all. I looked down at my body and saw that it was clad in my hardsuit. That explained it. But how on earth did I have my hardsuit on? I didn't remember changing into my innerwear or anything…

Lightning flashed, illuminating my surroundings. Suddenly, I knew why I was wearing my suit; all around me were large pieces of concrete, broken, broken as if something had blown it up.

It started to rain harder.

"W…what's going on?" I asked to no one in particular, looking around, confused. "How'd I get here?"

I heard a shushing noise.

"You know how," a voice echoed. "This is your nightmare."

"Where am I?" I demanded, my knees starting to shake. I'd never seen anything like this before, and yet, it seemed strangely nostalgic, familiar in a sickening sort of way.

"This was supposed to be your burial ground, Yumeko," the voice said deeply. "You should know where you are."

I felt a chill go down my spine. "I…I know that voice. You're…no. No. You're dead! You died twice!"

Two large, dark, muscular arms wrapped themselves tightly around me from behind, making me yelp in surprise. "Once here, and one like me died at the Tower. But I, myself, did not die twice. You, however…" I could almost feel it smirk as it leaned in to whisper in my ear. "You've died several times over. Your spirit is dead. Your soul…your livelihood…"

"It's not!" I yelled, struggling to get out of its grip. "I'm as alive as I ever was!"

"No matter how much you run from Genom…you know they've already gotten you. You run because you don't want to be killed, but truth is, you're already dead."

"Let me go!"

"Never. I've been clutching on to you for a year now. What makes you believe you can get away from me now?"

"STOP IT!" I screamed, jerking my body every which way, to no avail. Where was everybody else! If I was here in my suit, surely they couldn't be far behind!

"I've seeped into every pore, every crevice…your mind may not remember every detail of this night, but you damn well know your body does."

As if on cue, I felt a heavy weight slam into my left thigh. I screamed with the sensation of the inside of it suddenly lighting afire. I squeezed my eyes shut, and screamed again, trying to block it out. No…this had already happened! It wasn't happening again! This wasn't real!

"NO! LET GO!"

"Let yourself go," I heard a feminine voice say. I jerked my head in the direction of that sound, and there stood a blue-hardsuited figure. I felt my heart leap in joy. Finally…!

"Mom! Please! Kill this son of a bitch! Help me!" I begged.

"No."

"…What?" I felt my heart drop just as suddenly as it had leapt. What did she mean 'no'? She was my mom!

"You got yourself caught, Yume. Get yourself out."

"Mom, Mom, please, this isn't funny!"

"Sylia told you not to jump in unless we called for you," a green-hardsuited figure stated, shaking her head in disapproval. "You made your bed, Yumeko. Now you get to lay in it."

I let out a hoarse yell as a new wave of pain made its way across my stomach, literally. I moaned as I felt a hot burst of blood emerge from the new wound under my stomach armor. _No…no no…what's going on… Why aren't they helping me?_ I thought desperately. _Help me! I can't get away from this bastard on my own!_

"Some friends you have there," the Boomer said, sneering.

"These are the consequences of not listening to me," I heard Sylia's voice say, a grey hardsuit stepping up between Mom and Linna. "It was a mistake to let you fight with us, Yumeko. The arrogance of youth refuses to relinquish its hold…"

"But I AM a kid!" I protested, the energy draining from my body. "I wasn't…supposed to grow up this fast!"

"You gave up your childhood willingly, dear." I shivered with the way she had said that last word. "You can't be a Saber and still expect to get away with your childish wiles."

_I'm seventeen! What do you WANT from me?_ I thought, bewildered. In the time they were spending lecturing me, they could've killed this son of a bitch who still held me tight in its clutches. At the same time, while they stood there and glared at me – which I could easily assume judging from their body language – I saw a figure walk by them, walk straight up to me. It was a face I'd never forget.

"Boh," I moaned. "What do you want?"

He smirked. "I personally desire nothing. Nothing except, perhaps, the look of anguish on your face as it is now. It is a priceless look."

"Why aren't they doing anything?" I mumbled weakly to myself, seeing the Sabers just standing there, as if they hadn't seen him walk right by them. "They must see you."

"They see me. They know it's too late to do anything, that's all."

"Too late for what? They…could shoot you right now…"

"You heard them, Yumeko. It is your mess. You need to learn to get yourself out." He reached out and caressed my cheek with one hand. I jerked my head away in response.

"Don't…don't touch me," I spat.

Boh merely smirked again, his grey eyes taking on a glowing shade of red as a chuckle escaped his throat. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed.

"NO! Just LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Rocío…"

"Go to HELL!"

"Wake up, Rocío!"

"No! Please, I don't…!"

"It's alright. You're dreaming."

"Dreaming…no…"

I was startled awake by the feel of a pair of callused hands on my shoulders. Shooting up in bed, I was ready to deck whoever it was that had touched me, but my fist froze in mid-air when I saw a familiar, friendly face, the owner of those hands. "T…Tyler," I stammered.

"It's ok," he assured me, patting me on the shoulder. "It was a nightmare."

I shook my head, biting my lip. "No…it…it was more than that. It was hell."

"Whatever it was, it can't hurt you now. All right?" Tyler tried to offer a reassuring smile, which only sickened me more. How would HE know?

"It's too late for that," I hissed, tossing back the covers. "I've already been hurt. The hurt is never going to stop."

"The mouth is the valve through which pressure on the heart is relieved," he said gently. "In other words, just talk, let everything out. You'll feel better, I promise."

"Talking's never done any good! Don't you think I've tried that?" I jumped out of bed and ran past Tyler, out of my room, and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut. I tore off my sweat-drenched nightshirt and panties, then stepped into the shower and turned on the cold water. I shrieked when it first hit my skin, but at the same time, it was soothing, a nice contrast to the heat of my nightmare. Hugging myself, I lowered my head so that the water drenched my hair. It clung to my forehead, the back of my neck, my ears. The cold eased the urge to rip my hair out of my scalp.

I was going crazy! I knew I was! Today was the sixteenth of March…and there was no running from that fact. Even if I avoided looking at the newspaper or the TV or a calendar, I knew it was the sixteenth. I never wanted to see this day again, never mind that it was no longer the year 2055. The weather wouldn't be the exact same as it was that day; the surroundings were different too. My responsibilities for the day changed as well. But damn, it was still March sixteenth no matter how I looked at it.

I curled up on the tile floor of the shower stall, the cold water continuing to pelt my body. I closed my eyes, pulled my legs up to my chest, and just shivered. _I'll just stay here all day,_ I thought. _Won't go anywhere, won't go to school, won't DO anything. I'll be safe right here. Nothing can happen in here._

"C'mon, Rocío! Get outta there!" I heard Mikhaila yell, banging on the door. "I need to take a shower too!"

_You'll live. One day without a shower won't kill you or your hair._

"You're acting like a spoiled child, Rocío. Time to come out," Tyler urged.

"I AM a child!" I yelled, still curled up on the floor, teeth chattering. _That's all I'm ever gonna be. Just some fucking spoiled brat who wants some respect yet also wants the freedom of childhood. There's no way to get both, is there… Why the hell not?_

I felt a familiar ache creep its way down my leg, focusing in its usual spot above my knee. I sat up and rubbed it, knowing it wouldn't do any good. The scar, normally a pinkish-red, had now taken on a purplish hue from the cold, as had the scars on my stomach. The shade wasn't as bright as it was on my hardsuit, but it still reminded me of it all the same. I frowned in disgust as I recalled the first time I saw my suit after the summit attack, after the other Sabers had come back from a battle and Mom had gotten hurt. Crusted blood, a hole in the leg armor I could have stuck my hand through, the lingering stench of burnt circuitry…

Sure, my armor had been fixed up since then, and so had my body, for the most part. But my psyche would never be the same. I'd known that ever since that fateful job had started, even before the Boomers stormed the place. And although I couldn't remember very much from that night…what I DID remember was more than enough to convince me I didn't need to remember any more. If I did, I was probably liable to go insane. I couldn't remember Mom holding me in my 'dying' moments…couldn't remember the beam satellite being enacted…and hell, I couldn't remember anything that happened after the second Boomer had strangled me to unconsciousness. There were still flashes from beforehand that I couldn't conjure up, either. _Well, at least I remembered the important parts, I guess,_ I thought sarcastically, turning off the water as I stood up.

"That's it! I'm gonna knock this door down, Rocí—" I flung the door open, my body wrapped in a towel, surprising Mikhaila, who had her foot in the air, ready to kick the door down. "Oh! Er, uh, you finally got done, huh?" she stammered, quickly regaining her composure. "Hope you didn't hog all the hot water."

"Don't worry. I only used cold."

She shuddered as she made her way past me and shut the door. I turned to head to my room when Tyler stopped me. "Locking yourself in the bathroom isn't exactly the healthiest way to handle these sort of things," he tried to remind me.

"That wasn't it," I said flatly. "Needed the cooldown. I need to get dressed. 'Scuse me." He stepped aside, a confused look on his face as I went into my room and shut the door, making sure to lock it before dropping the towel and getting dressed. I knew I couldn't stay here all day, contrary to my thoughts only minutes earlier. If I did, Irodia would probably try to drag me to a shrink to pay lip service. If I went to school…well, that was out of the question anyway. If I did though, I'd likely have a blackout, and that was not something I wanted to subject myself, or anyone else, to again. I had to go somewhere where I could be alone.

Once I was dressed and my hair was tied back in a ponytail, I grabbed my bottle of hydromorphone, filling up the dropper and depositing the liquid on my tongue. After swallowing it, I shoved the bottle into my jacket pocket, put on said jacket, then grabbed a spare blanket from underneath my bed. I dumped out my backpack so I could shove the blanket into it, and once that was done, I put it on my back , went out the door, and before long, the house and the street were behind me as I sped off on my motorcycle.

-----

I was stoned, yes, but I didn't like to think of it that way. I just thought of my hydromorphone for what it was: a painkiller, for my physical pain as well as my mental pain. It helped me get away, if only for a little while. There were a few times where I was tempted to take more than one dropperful, but I knew that would land me in the hospital, and that wasn't something I wanted to do. People would probably wonder how I got it, where I got it, why I was using it…and I didn't want to go through all that. I didn't want to get Bert in trouble, either, although him having the drugs probably WAS illegal…

Maybe driving while being slightly stoned wasn't the best idea. But, I DID still have my wits about me; those weren't numbed. My thoughts, however, and my head…they were pleasantly numb. My memories weren't, though. After I picked up Xania and we went driving to school, I wasn't exactly reminiscing about the summit; I wasn't purposefully recalling any particular moment from that night. And yet, there they were in my head, just sitting there, refusing to crawl into a hole and die. It didn't seem like I was recalling myself in that fight; it felt like…like I was watching the footage that Quincy had shown me. It was like an out-of-body experience, like none of that shit could have happened to me. No way, wasn't me. A twin, maybe? Twins could feel each other's pain, after all.

But do twins have the exact same damn scars? That sealed it for me. It really was me that had almost been killed that night. Part of me still didn't want to believe it, despite all of the irrefutable evidence in front of me, ON me, IN me. Denying it probably would've been futile, but confronting it? How exactly was I gonna go about doing THAT? Moreover, did I WANT to?

Hell no.

"Earth to Rosho!" Xania shouted in my ear when we stopped at a traffic light a block from the school.

"What?" I asked bluntly. I'd been hearing her voice the whole way…but hearing and listening were two different things. I couldn't recall a thing she said.

"You're really spacin' out today, girl. What's up?"

"Me," I said cheekily. Normally, I probably would've smiled, but at the moment, I felt like I didn't have the strength to move those facial muscles.

"Seriously, c'mon. You're so quiet."

The light turned green, and I sped down the street towards the school. "Maybe I just don't have anything to say," I said.

"You always have somethin' to say! And I wanna hear it!"

"Nothing to say today. I don't want to say anything."

"That's it, somethin' MUST be up. What is it? I can listen."

"I'm taking you to school…and then I'm leaving. I can't be there today," I said, turning into the student parking lot.

"You're ditchin'? C'mon, lemme ditch with you! I can't go to class without ya there!"

"You did before I came here. You did when I got suspended. You can do it again." I heard my own voice, but I couldn't even remember moving my lips to say what I'd said. "I can't be around anybody today, Xania. I'll…go nuts. I gotta be alone…"

"What's so special about today?"

I screeched the bike to a halt in front of the student entrance. "You know damn well what's special about today. I hope I don't have to refresh your memory."

"I don't…think you do," she said hesitantly as she climbed off my bike, actually looking somewhat timid as she looked at me. "Rosho, you could just stay home today. Don't need to run off anywhere."

"Irodia's house…is NOT my home. And I'm not running away from anywhere. Just gonna go somewhere quiet so I can think."

"Yeah, right," she sighed.

After I said a quick bye, I pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the street again, towards a spot that I had come to find very peaceful lately, a nice place to just be alone with my thoughts. For at least the third time in the past two weeks, I found myself heading towards the local park. I could hide out there all day long, just listening to the birds and the laughter of toddlers on the jungle gym and maybe even the sound of my own sanity slowly being ripped apart.

But hell, that was what the hydromorphone was for, to drown out at least the latter. Or at least that's what I was hoping.

Once arriving at the park, I parked near the usual spot and climbed up one of the many hills, and once I came to a small cluster of trees, I set down my backpack, took out the blanket, and spread it out on the grass in the shade of the biggest one. After smoothing it out, I took a moment to look up into the sky, holding up a hand to shield my eyes from the sun. The sky was a bright shade of blue, and I would've thought it to be perfect if it wasn't for the fact that today was the day it was. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed several jagged-looking whitish-grey clouds in the distance.

_Jagged like knives,_ I thought, unconsciously putting a hand to my stomach.

Without consciously thinking about it, I started half-mumbling, half-singing a verse to a song that I had heard long ago. Where from, I don't know, and I didn't know who sang it either. But I guess the lines were appropriate…

"_I'm all out of faith…this is how I feel. I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed into something real, I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn. You're a little late…I'm already torn…_"

I laid down on my back on the blanket, peering up into the sky through the branches of the tree. I just wanted to lay there all day, just like that, just doing nothing. I wanted to be lazy…not have to worry about anything… I wanted to allow myself to just zone out. I wanted to be able to go to sleep and not wake up in a damn hospital bed with an IV in my hand and a feeding tube up my nose.

"Day Seven was supposed to be lucky," I murmured sleepily to myself, closing my eyes. "Shoulda been a lucky day…"

I'd drawn a joker that night instead of getting a royal straight flush. I'd had a feeling…and no one else had caught up on it until it was too late.

-----

Random voices flew through my head. They were all from that night…but when exactly had they been said? I didn't know…

"_RUN!_"

"_You stay out of this!_"

"_Leave her alone!_"

"_Your blood. It and your eyes are the same shade of red._"

"_If I can still breathe, I can still fight…and I intend to._"

I knew I'd said that last one…I recognized my own voice, albeit contorted in pain. I remembered saying it…but when I'd said it, I couldn't remember offhand.

"_Would you stop being so damn stubborn?_"

Nene had said that…but hearing the word 'damn' coming from her mouth was actually quite humorous; she'd never been the type to curse, even when really upset. Little wonder I teased her about it even after she'd slapped me upon spitting that remark.

"_Please get up…_"

"_You'll be dead in a few minutes anyway…_"

I couldn't move…I didn't want to die, but I literally had been unable to run from death approaching me. I had a gaping hole in my leg, my stomach had been cut open, my ribs were crushed…I was lucky to have still even been aware of my surroundings.

I wish I hadn't been, though. I remembered bawling at that knowledge…

Why the hell had I wanted to remember what went on after I woke up in the hospital? Why couldn't I have stayed amnesic, oblivious to the suffering I'd gone through just a few days before? I was cursed with the memories I had…and thankful that I was only cursed with a handful of them and not the whole barrel of 'em. If I'd recovered all my memories, God knows what I'd do then…

My eyes snapped open, and I found myself curled up in the fetal position, hugging myself tight. I couldn't remember moving into this position; had I fallen asleep? I sat up and ran my hand through my hair, looking around, and when I looked to my left, I saw that I had company in the form of a bubbly brunette. She sat there patiently, her arms wrapped around her legs.

"What? Sara?" I stammered.

She turned to look at me. "You're awake now!" she exclaimed, smiling widely. "I've been here for a while, but you looked so peaceful laying there sleeping, so I figured I'd just wait."

"W…what time is it?"

She looked at her watch. "12:30."

"What? Shit, I was asleep longer than I thought! And…and aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"Aren't you?" she retorted, giggling.

"How'd you know I was here, anyway? I didn't tell anybody where I was going."

"Xania said you left on your own after you dropped her off. She said you've been taking a liking to the park lately, so she told me that's probably where you'd be at. And it turns out she was right. Here you are."

"She didn't come with you?"

"No. She said today was a special day for you, and that maybe I could relate to it and you better than she can."

"No argument there," I sighed.

Sara stretched out her legs in front of her, and I took a moment to get a look at them. Sure, they were artificial, but the skin that covered them looked genuine, and if I hadn't witnessed her car accident, I would never have known that these legs were fake. I'd thought that cybernetic replacements would've been obvious, but in Sara's case, the casual observer would've been oblivious.

She flashed another smile. "So, let me help you, Rocío. _Ayúdame a ayudarte._"

I looked away and sighed. "_Sara…no puedes ayudarme. No puedo ser ayudado…_" I had a feeling I'd said it wrong, but if Sara noticed, she didn't show it.

"What makes you think that?" she asked. "Of course you can be helped. _Pero no puedes tener ayúdo hasta preguntas para lo._"

"I don't need help. I'd just rather be alone."

"Being alone isn't going to help anybody, least of all yourself," she said. "I was really bummed out when I found out I wasn't going to have my legs anymore; you were the one that told me I'd lost them. But heck, once I knew that I could get new ones, I couldn't wait to get them on so I could be up and walking again! I can walk alright now, I guess." She bent one of her knees for emphasis. "I still have trouble going up hills and stuff though. And of course you just HAD to be on the top of one. I wore myself out getting up here."

"Good practice though, right?" I managed to joke. She laughed.

"_Supongo que sí._ But what about you?"

"Four months of therapy before I could even shed the leg brace. More than long enough," I said bluntly. "But still…the doctors did give me the option to just get a cybernetic one instead. I said no. The last thing I'd do is make myself part-Boomer…" I immediately realized what I said and put my hand over my mouth. "Shit, sorry…I didn't…"

"That's ok," she said. "You didn't mean it. I don't think of myself as part-Boomer though. I was given the choice to either get a pair of new legs, or just spend my life in a wheelchair feeling sorry for myself. I knew I still wanted to get around, explore the world. I wasn't gonna let a bed become my world! I still have a lot to do!"

"I felt the same way," I agreed. "I didn't…want to spend my life as some cripple. And I knew my leg wasn't going to automatically go back to the way it was before; I'd have to work to get back to that point. And…I think I'm almost there."

"Do you still go to the gym every day?"

"Yeah."

"I really hope you can get better in time for the Olympic trials, Rocío. I'm rooting for you." She looked down at her legs, smiling wistfully. "You know…you helped me to get better too."

"I…I did?"

She nodded. "Yeah. You're the type to not let anything get in your way, not your dad's abuse, not Rob trying to bed you, not anything!"

_Thanks for reminding me,_ I groaned in my head. Oh, if only she knew all the frustration I endured at the beginning of my therapy! It almost sickened me to see her so damn optimistic about everything, but at the same time…it was actually kind of inspiring.

"Rocío?"

"Yeah?"

"_Gracias._"

"_¿Para qué?_"

"_Para ayudando a mi vida…_"

"What else would I have done, huh?" I assured her. "I wasn't gonna just sit there and wait for the ambulance. Had to do something."

"And I really, really appreciate it. I guess fate made me and Juliana ask you to come shopping with us, huh? If we hadn't…"

"No such thing as fate," I said cheekily. "At least to me. I guess I was just in the right place at the right time."

She nodded, eyes shining. "Yeah."

We both stood up, and as she helped me fold up my blanket, she asked, "Since it's lunch time, do you wanna go get something to eat?"

"I'm…not really hungry," I admitted.

"I'll pay if that's a problem," she joked. "You can choose the locale too. Where to?"

"Anyplace Italian."

"Ok! But you're not driving."

"I'm not, huh?" I asked, playing along. "Who is, then? Your car was totaled."

"I didn't say I was driving. Greg is."

"Greg?"

"Yeah. How else do you think I got to the park? That'd be one long walk!"

"Where is he now?"

"In the parking lot next to your bike. I made him wait." She giggled. "On second thought…we can make HIM pay!"

"I guess that can be payback for him sneaking that kiss on me," I said, smirking as I shoved the blanket into my backpack.

While I jogged down the hill, Sara was taking one wobbly step at a time, but eventually she just decided to make like an eight-year-old and roll down the hill instead. After I helped her up, we made our way back to the parking lot where, sure enough, Greg was waiting, a smile on his face.

This March sixteenth hadn't started out that well, to be sure. The rest of this day, however, I felt sure would more than make up for that. Going out to lunch or shopping at the mall with friends instead of going out to fight Boomers…now THIS was what I was supposed to be doing in my free time.

For the first time in a long time, I felt free.


End file.
